Always an Outsider... Never an Insider

I am going to give my testimonial... I was brutally bullied from lower education through High School.  This video was spot on in many cases, but I do feel that school officials have always and will always be numb to the pain that goes on through the bullied.  These schools are way too overlooking in concerns of those who are defenseless. 

The children in these schools are looking for popularity and public favor just as our powerful officials governing our country.  When these kids are in a group they gain power and are willing to sometimes do what they wouldn't do alone.  The popular are safe.  Time and Time again, I could almost predict when something was going to happen.  It's a system... and it can be cracked.

I was pretty darn creative as a kid.. I was called paranoid, sensitive, dumb, gay, and loser more times than I can actually count in a lifetime.  I was emotionally crushed, ganged up on, threatened on a daily basis, etc...  I wasn't like the other kids... I was a bit of a momma's boy...  I didn't believe in violence (but all the other kids did).  I had a hard time making friends, and keeping them.  Yes, the kids in school will attack the kids who would befriend me.  Even at times when I was trying to ask girls out. (which stunted my relationship experience) So, it was tough being able to trust... because those really nice kids could turn on you at a drop of a hat.  I remember crying almost every night because I didn't want to face the bullies

I can honestly say that taking karate did help some... I'd highly recommend that parents enroll their kid in a good karate school.  make sure it is a little distance from the school.  That way other kids who may be bullies aren't in class with your child.  "Karate is for defense only"... loved that saying as a kid.  Being non-violent, this was a good way to build my confidence.  (unfortunately, it was a few years late...)  My image was trashed from all the past bullying.. 

Due to the excess of bullying, I finally stood up for myself in the 6th grade.  I was being harassed during class while the teachers back was turned (flicking my ears, hitting me on the head, etc), my temperature just built up...  I dove out of my desk onto the kid who was harassing me and took him out of his desk and to the ground where I pinned him.  Even than, I never hit him... I just pinned him.   The teacher sent us to the principals office but on the way, the teacher stopped me and told me to go to next period.  (This was a teacher who knew what was going on, but never did anything for the whole term... I would like to honor him, but honestly... He never did anything to stop the harassment.  He just knew that I was innocent)

Why was the young man soo "numb"? He was numb because he knew if he fought back that he was going against more than one.  And, if his parents complained enough to get the bullies in trouble with the school, after taking the punishment (which is only lecturing), the bully would be strategising to find something else they could do.  It is very easy to go to a dark place when you are numb.  I can honestly say that I can't remember many years of my past...  I can say that it was very hard on my parents and to them I owe my heart.  I remember taking out my anger on them and being an absolute pill.

High School pep rallies were horrible!!!  Mass Chaos!! This is where being alone can be the worst.  Groups and Cliques are all together, so its like dodging shots the whole time.  So, if you were one of the cool kids, this would have been the best times... but when you are the bullied, it is treacherous... 

I could go on and on, but let me leave you with this... I honestly can say that it was a miracle that I survived through the schooling years.  If certain things didn't play out in my life the way they did, I definitely could have been another suicide victim.  I will always support those who are weaker, because I was once a victim.  With a lot of self-help, counseling, and strength I was able to move forward in my life.   I pray for all the victims and share my heart with them.

Jeffrey Smith

Bullied 84'-96'

Apollo Beach, Fl



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