Adult Survivor

I am 41 years old now, and yes, its been years since my school days, but I will always remember the names of the kids who bullied me for years.  I was the new kid in school, the quiet kid, so it made me an easy target.  One kid in my nieghborhood threatened to beat me up, so she got the other kids on my street to gang up on me.  I remember being scared to death to leave my house, to take the bus to school or even step foot inside the school.  I remember every day being scared, of crying wishing that I could just hide in my room and never leave.  But my bullying didn't stop with her.  It seems liked where one bullied finally left me alone, there was always another there to take their place.  A couple of years later, a new girl arrived on our bus, and she sat behind me.  The very first day, she started pulling my hair while we were riding the bus, when i cried out in pain, she just mimicked my cries.  I didn't know her name or anything, I had no clue who she was.  But this went on every day.  I will never forget the day my parents came to the school and i was called down to the principals office to confront this girl.  I have never been more scared in my life.  I was pretty short that year, as I was only 13.  This girl looked like an amazon, she was very tall, so needless to say I was petrified.  She lied to the principal and told them I had threatened her.. my first thought was "why would I do that, you are much bigger than me, I don't know you and it wouldn't take much for you to hurt me", the prinicipal said, "if they were boys I would just let them go out into the woods beside the school and duke it out".. at that point I am thinking he is going to let this girl kick my butt, and I just wanted to crawl into a hole and die.  So this girl I think was told she couldn't ride the bus for a week, and lucky for me, someone saw her picking on me, and approached me at lunch.  Again, I didn't know this girl either, and she was bigger than the bully, and I thought, OH DEAR GOD no, she is ganging up with this girl, but to my surprise, she asked if this girl on my bus was picking on me, and I very quietly said "yes", and this girl told me not to worry, she would take care of that problem and that girl wouldn't pick on me anymore", in that moment I firmly believed in devine intervention.  Someone noticed, and i didn't feel so alone and for the first time in years, the fear left.  One person out of hundreds was willing to stand up for for me, to say "enough".  I look back now and I stand in awe of this person who advocated for me.  I will admit, this was not the last time I ran into someone who wanted to kick my butt for no reason, other than I was the odd kid, but it took for me to reach my senior year in high school to find my voice and stand up for myself, and once I stood my ground and said no more, the bullying stopped.  I didn't have to resort to violence, but found that inner strength that I didn't even know that I had.  I read the news now as a mom of teenage kids and it kills me to see what the world has come to.  The internet can be a wonderful thing, but when it comes to bullying, this brings it to a whole other playing field.  The bullying goes beyond the school walls, and school buses.  THese bullies are invading our kids homes, the safety and security of where our kids should feel safe is being violated.  As a parent, the parents of these bullies need to be held accountable, I know if my kids were ever caught picking on someone for any reason, they would have harsh consequences to face.  laws need to be passed in states that don't have them to protect the kids from bullying.  Here in massachusetts, bullying is against the law, it becomes a federal crime to intimidate a child with bodily harm, its harrassment and there are harsh legal repercussions.  But the education of our young people is just as vitally important.  They need to learn that its NOT okay to pick on someone, for any reason!  and advocating for someone who is being bullied is not a sign of weaknes.  No child should ever feel that suicide is the way out, no child should ever be made to feel worthless.  There is a place for EVERYONE in this world.  That these kids are loved, and that they have something special to offer.  I just only hope one day, topics like this are a thing of the past, but until then, get the word out, stand up for those who can't speak for themselves, if you see someone getting bullied, report it.  There is safety in numbers and its our job to keep our kids safe.  to those kids on this site who are being bullied, don't give up, reach out to an adult, a friend, anyone that will listen, and realize you aren't alone! people do care, that you are worthwhile and don't anyone tell you differently.  Hatred is just a form of fear and ignorance.  I have walked a thousand miles in your shoes, and there is light at the end of the tunnel, you will get through this, and there are people willing to stand up for you and help!  Change happens, and its with websites and people out there spreading the word that we can get this bullying to end once and for all!

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