ever since i was little i was made fun of. it started out as the typical schoolyard ''playful'' shoves to the ground...but as i got older i started to realize it wasn't playful. then i went to my dad about it and he told me to fight back. so i did and they stopped touching me and started using their words...and then one day in 4th or 5th grade some boy tackled me to the ground and beat me up while his friend recorded it...after that the verbal abuse got worse...and by the time 6th grade rolled around it became physical again...then 8th grade rolled around and i met my girlfriend...she was there for me and i was so happy...but the bullying got worse until we pretended not to be together anymore...and after that most of my friends ditched me for liking girls which was when my first suicide attempt happened...i survived...after that i had to lie to everyone just to have some friends...then i as caught with my girlfriend and everyone ditched us again. by that time the bullying was so bad i began hurting myself. and then my mom made my move in with her, her husband, and his parents...though it was really his parents that made me move in because in their eyes my sexuality was going to be the death of me and they wanted to "save my soul". i began a new school my freshman year and very few talked to me because of my style choice...i was a "satanic psychotic metalhead stoner freak" surrounded by preps, jocks, "swagfags" and kids that thought they were "pure OG"...not a good mix for me...but i did blend in with the metalheads, the stoners, the "black magic" kids and the outcasts...after the first month the bullies finally noticed me...i was mocked, laughed at, pushed, tripped...one day on my way to my friends house i was jumped...my self harming got worse..more frequent...and then another suicide attempt...once again...survived...went to Ireland and then came back in time for sophomore year...i started ditching classes to avoid certain people...by this time i was slipping away from everyone...and another suicide attempt rolled in...once again...survived...i made it the rest of the year with 3 more attempts....survived them all...then junior year....made friends and lost friends...had another attempt and dropped out of highschool...but that didn't matter...i was a junior with barely any Freshman credits so i wouldn't have graduated anyway...after that i spent most of my time on the internet where MORE bullying happened and self harm became an addiction...senior year has rolled around...and so far i have met a girl named Kai who had moved across the street from me...after that we became best friends and i practically moved in...though self harm was still an addiction she always managed to keep me somewhat sane...after i met her i met her best friend Raven and the three of us became sisters...after a while things seemed to get a lot better...then we met Jamie...and things went up and downhill...we all became bipolar...but we also became a family...after a while...Kai moved...this was two weeks ago...i broke down and self harm was once again was an addiction...now i'm trying to over come my battle and get my GED...and hopefully once i accomplish some of my goals things will get better for me...but until then i am sharing my story...hopefully i can make a few friends as well...i ran from my problem which was the worst choice for me...i hope you do not do the same