I was always a larger child. Always taller, always wider for as long as I can remember. And I have a really good memory! Starting before 1st grade my "best friend" told me was fat. I was too heavy. Too heavy too be pretty. Do the math.... That is BEFORE 1st grade so 6 years old and I already know I am too big to be pretty. Also have the wrong hair color because we live in Japan at that point, but that's okay. After that I just keep going with my usual eating habits, which are "American" to my Japanese friends which make me feel self conscious as is plus I have this battle dwelling within that is my family life that I have chosen to ignore. Then we move to WYOMING. Yeah. I like to black out a lot of my life but there as not as much of my life that needs to be deleted as Wyoming. There was so much pain and anguish there that I dare not to recall. My parents fought there more than they ever had but for the first time I understood what it all meant and it hurt. Also for the first time my mother came to me for relationship advise. Through all of this I was tortured at school-I was heavy and tall. A little while after we got to Wyoming I developed acne and THEN I got braces and a neck brace. Jus found out my mother never thought I was made fun of. She NEVER THOUGHT I WAS TEASED. MY PARENTS NEVER THOUGHT I WAS MADE FUN OF FOR BEING OVER WEIGHT, BEING TALLER THAN ALL THE BOYS, HAVING BRACES, AND A NECK BRACE. Yeah. Denial much?
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