Words can stick to you forever

I have always been a shy person. I never got picked first for sports. I started to get teased when I was in the 4th grade. My parents put my sister and I in an after school program that wasn't part of my elementary school. That's were I had my first interaction with a bully. Being part Persian comes along with ethnic features. Specifically my nose. Kids would call me big nose, mountain face, pinocchio(sorry for the mispelling), and thing of that sort. I would be so self concious and always looked down when I walked. There was a group of girls who would always pick on me making things up and threatening to beat me up. I didn't even know there names. I begged my parents to let me stay home but now that I'm older I understand they had to work and I needed to be taken care of. The bullying got worse in middle school. Some of my "friends" started to make things up about me, and soon nobody wanted to talk to me and I was left to eat lunch alone in the bathroom. I spent most of my 3 years of middle school in my counselors office crying about being picked on. One girl who used to be my friend in elementary school wanted to beat me up as well. There was this one boy who would ask me if I would ever get a nose job, and I always said no. I started to self harm when I left middle school and entered high school. In high school things started to lighten up. I made new friends and non of them picked on me. Until my "best friend" turned on me and posted on a social media website how she wanted to beat me up and would not stop until I was "bleeding on the concrete." But I was still scarred from the previous years. I was embarrassed to talk about it and I started to feel lonely. I contemplated suicide many times through out high school. I even went to therapy. In my senior year I was in a verbally abusive relationship, and tried to kill myself. My guy best friend got there on time and I guess you could say saved me. I'm now 20 years old, and I remember everyone and everything that bullied me, and that was said to me. It's still hard for me to talk about it today. But I'm really glad I came by this website, and am able to share my story with people who can connect to it. I watched the documentary Bully and I just want anyone who is reading this to know that you're not alone. And if you know that someone is bullying don't just be a bystander. Stand up and stop it. If sharing my story helps someone feel connect, and not alone then I am so happy that I went out of my comfort zone. And if nobody reads this that's okay to because I feel much better letting it out in the open. I am here for anyone who needs someone to talk to. I wish they had one of these when I was younger it would have helped alot. Anyways I'll wrap it up and say let's be activists and bring awareness to bullying!

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