When will it ever end?

Growing up I wasn't exactly like every one else. When I was in kindergarten the teachers and my parents realized that I wasn't developing as fast as the other children. because of this I was held back ion kindergarten tel. me how that one works... Soon came the first grade, during this year of school I had a hard time as well because of the fact that most kids in that grade were younger than I was so it began to cause a problem I was teased because I was older and didn't have very many friends. The third grade started and things began to get a little better but not completely thus being older once again and having to be helped to understand what most children at that age already know I had to learn at a slow process.. 

I made a few friends but not alot. as I grew I started to realize I had an even harder time because I am short and developed a lazy eye. Most of the kids would tease me and ask me if I was looking at them or looking at something else.. During the fifth grade I decided I did not want to go to school so I made every excuse to not go thus getting held back another year of school.. junioir high was not any different even the teachers pickEd on me during those years. I began going to therapy to help deal with my emotional state during those years my father wasnt in life and I blamed my self for this but i couldn't understand what I had done for him to leave.. I later found out it was not because of me it was because my family didn't want us to see each other. My life changed dramaticly and was harder than ever to cope. 

High school was one of my hardest years I moved to a totally different state my sophomore year just as I was starting to make friends or so I thought. When I moved all the people I thought was my friends were no longer there for me. The new school I had started I was an out cast no one there liked me and I didn't get along with any one. I was emotionally torchered at the school witch then led me to drop out of school... :( to this day I still have problems I get picked on at work and in public.. There has been many times I feel like things would be better off with out me and then I think my future and decide no it's worth it.. I currently have an amazing boyfriend who is there for me no matter what.. Yes there is still times I hate being pickEd on but there is nothing I can do besides stand up for my self and fight. 

I have been bullied my entire life and to this day it still is happening won't ever stop no matter how hard i try.. i feel alot better getting it out in the open and telling my story now that I know I'm not alone.. I am 21 years old now and  am still battling bullying!! 

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