When I was bullied and when I was the bully

I have been bullied many times. The weird thing about how I have been bullied is that it was by my siblings. My two brothers (one older and one younger than me) have always been on my back. My older brother (a few years back) would always have the determination to do everything better than me and give me a hard time on my mistakes and even my achievements. Whenever i would get an award, he would call me a goodie-goodie or a teachers pet, probably because he was jealous. Whenever I would fall he would laugh and never help me up. Whenever I would feel proud of myself, i could count on him to bring me down. Like the time I wrote my first song for example. I was so excited to show him and my parents. When i sang it, he started laughing and critically judged me on how i wrote it and how it needs to rhyme. I never wrote another song. That's just the beginning. I have a younger brother that bullies me too. I know it sounds weird that an 8 year old brother bullies his 12 year old sister but its true. He calls me fat, ugly, dumb, stupid, he punches me, he kicks me, he screams at me, he purposely annoys me, he does all of the above and hardly gets in trouble. And he calls me the bully HA!

I am just as guilty though. I may have developed my ways from my older brother (sadly) because i treat my little brother similar. The only difference is that he starts it and I finish it. My little brother plays video games, A LOT! and ever since he got his IPad, he has been a little monster. Dont get me wrong, I love my brother, but at times he makes me feel worthless. He will shove me and say "Oops that was an accident" and my parents never see it. But when I push him back my parents tell me to "knock it off". When he screams, I scream back. When he hits, I hit back. I am just as guilty as he is but I have it so much worse. I was so insecure about how I looked and how much i weighed, and being called fat and ugly by your family only makes things worse. My older brother was nothing compared to how my little brother treats me. The thing that makes me furious is that he gets away with it. 

Today, my little brother is still a brat and my older brother and I are best friends. We now have a one on one relationship that no one can break. In the end, things turned out ok for us. I hope the same things happen with my younger brother.


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