I wasn't always the bullied one, and I'm beyond ashamed to say that I used to be the bully. I was blind, stupid, insensitive really, and the thing was I also wasn't you're stereotypical bully. Whenever someone says the word bully, people tend to imagine a cold faced kid that hates and obviously abuses others, but what most people don't realize is that's not always the case. Bullies come in all shapes and sizes. In Any gender or age. There are no limits to bullies, and there are also no limits to bullying.You see I was very young, but I'm sad to say that bullying can start from the moment your pre-k child steps into school. Now that may be hard to believe for some people, but if you're still in school, you probably know what I'm talking about. So you see, when I was in around 5th grade I moved to a new elementary school, there I got a lot of attention for some reason and I let it all go to my head, I treated people as if they were lower than me. And although I was only like 10 years old I know see that my actions were the typical actions of a popular kid. The same actions that I see the "popular kids" use now that I'm 15 and in High School. These type of kids (now not all popular kids are like this) but there's kids like the one I used to be that seem to do a little bit of a mind game with you. On one instance they're extremely kind and to you and they make you feel welcome, wanted, and important. But then the next instance, they're the complete opposite! They're rude, and they make you feel like you're not worth to even be around them. And then before you know it they're super nice again! This leaves the victims feeling like they did something right, like they need to earn their love again and keep it because they fear that this oh so important person is going to return to being mean to them. It messes with their brains and with their self esteem. But I just want you all to know,whether you're a victim or the aggressor whoever you are, don't you ever let anyone walk all over you like this! Ever, if someone whether they be your boyfriend/girlfriend, family member, friend, acquaintance, church friend, teacher, if any being is making you fight to prove your worth, forget them. Listen, say it out loud ,read it again!!! Memorize this: If someone is making you prove your worth and/or question your worth then forget them. You are better off with out them! THEY WILL NEVER SEE YOUR WORTH because they will always remember you and how you fought to win their acceptance, and that will make them see you as a minority and they will see you as below them. If you truly want to show people how much you're truly worth, remind yourself first. You are someone's child (if you're religious, please remember that you are a child of God! that itself is enough, because you are His) You are a human being on this earth so love yourself respect yourself and move on . don't let them treat you like that and that will change their perspective of you, I guarantee it. Go and find some real friends that take you for who you are and allow you to feel comfortable and happy in your own skin. Because you'll come to realize, you don't want friends like them anyways. Because people like them, are Bullies. If anything I would know right? That is until 5th grade year ended, and I moved on to infamous Middle School. It was going quite well until the day came for me to move a cross the city, to a new school, in the middle of the year when everyone already knew each other. That's when a different point of view was introduced to me. I was intimidated, I didn't know anybody and nobody wanted to know me. I was the new girl without a sense of style and a pimple covered face. The area to which I moved in was still new and small, so therefore the school was also new and small. And although it still had its cliques, everyone knew who everyone was. And even then it was hard for me to be accepted. I was completely and utterly ALONE i asked permission to sit with the same group of "friends" every day just so that I wouldn't sit alone,but it all came to be just as bad because I was so afraid to show even a hint of my personality, I was so afraid of being judged that I couldn't speak, I couldn't add to the conversation. that group of people eventually grew tired of me , and began "hiding" From me and avoiding me every day at lunch. They would put their heads down so that I couldn't talk to them. I'd be walking and boys and girls would push me unto the walls of the school and I'd come home bleeding. At age 12 thanks to bullying, I became an anxiety ridden depressed and suicidal pre teen. My grades dropped almost as low as my self esteem . and my parents had no idea, when they heard me?crying they just thought it wasn't that bad. When I begged them to go to a different school they refused. It all started to look up when I eventually unintentionally broke down in front of my meanest teacher when she was yelling at me for one of my assignments, I told her everything that was going on with me, and now I love that woman dearly , she sat me and kept me close to a girl that to this day I am still friends with. After that things slowly (very slowly started to look up) especially when I became friends with a rather sassy girl that taught me to defend myself.she taught me to respect myself and love myself.And I taught her to respect others and love others. In 7th grade she became my neighbor and we've been best friends ever since. Make friends with someone who uplift you, don't be afraid to remove your friendships with people who don't. Now I'm 15 and I'm going into the 10th grade, and let me tell you, I'm still being bullied. And you know what's even more unbelievable? is the fact that my bully is from my very own church! She pretends to love me in front of people but as soon as they look away she tries to make me feel like trash. And why?? Because she's jealous, she feels threatened by my presence. Please remember that bullied bully for a reason,and it's always leads to the fact that they're insecure. Don't let their insecurities affect you. Remember your worth and stand up for yourself. NOW IF YOURE GOING TO READ ANYTHING FROM MY LONG ESSAY HAHA READ THIS: recently I have discovered "The Key" to survival in school or wherever you may be. Listen closely and do it and you will see that it's true. People think that the only way to survive is if you're popular,but that is SOOO WRONG! There is a way to be above them, and that's by being genuine and you! ·BE CONFIDENT: Confidence is everything, when you're confident people can see it in you. They can see it by the way you walk (straight posture) by keeping your head high and smiling and looking at people in the eye. By a loud and clear voice. And you're probably thinking but I'm not confident. Well, neither am I, but when I do the above and I act like it, people recognize it and phew you should just SEE how different people treat you. Fake the confidence and someday it will turn into a genuine one. ·COMPLIMENT AND BE COURTEOUS: people love to feel important and noticed so DO NOT be afraid to compliment someone's hair or shoes, and don't forget to show a friendly smile to strangers!!!!! People rarely smile and compliment complete strangers so when you do it they remember you as that really nice person trust me. AND NO THEY WILL NOT THINK YOURE CREEPY that's just a weird fear we all have! So go ahead compliment and be COURTEOUS! Open the door for people help people love people and they will love u back! ·STAY HUMBLE: when you get complimented remember to say thank you and to mean it, show them that it means a lot stay humble! ·JOIN CLUBS/SPORTS/HANG OUT: if you're athletic join a sport! you make a family and it's always good to see them around school. Even if you're not athletic, a sport like Cross Country is a race against yourself and you can only get better! (I'm in that sport) If you really don't like sports though, join a club of whatever you're interested, culinary, culture, dance, ANYTHING don't be afraid to meet new people, follow the advice above and you'll be fine! If you're in a work place and don't have these options just hang out with your co workers exchange numbers go on lunch dates together find people that share the same interests and go do something together! If you're in school, you can do all of the above! ·REMEMBER TO LAUGH: Llaugh laugh laugh and smile happiness is important because people are instantly attracted to happy people plus it's healthy to be happy! ·LOVE: love others although you will find those that you will want to hate but try to give Everyone a Chance! That's all I can think of for now, so before I close this, I just want you all to know that all the advice I give, I learned from personal experience. I hope you can find the strength to follow it and I wish you all the best!
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