The High School Weird Girl

As a senior in college now, I have come out of my shell and made a group of really great friends who love me for who I am and a boyfriend who would do anything to see me smile...but it wasn't always so easy.  Even in college, I still have gotten bullied, but nothing is as bad as it was in high school.  In high school I had friends but they were in the same boat as me...we were quiet, in the marching band, and were art students...the "outcasts" as you would call it.  The name calling behind my back was bad, but when all of your "friends" take after the hurtfulness everyone else is doing and turn it on you, it's even worse.  It makes you feel so alone when these "friends" (in quotes because in reality, they weren't real friends at all) call you names and stop talking to you for no reason, especially when everyone else is doing it too.  At one point it got so bad that I would cry myself to sleep every night because I dreaded going to school the next day.  I got cornered at my locker by all of my "friends" and got screamed at and called derogatory names while I held back the tears, kept my mouth shut, and realized that everyone in the entire school was watching.  Later that night, the same "friends" targeted me and harassed me through text message and Facebook...

It was after I went to college that I realized I had to put all of the hurt behind me and move forward, and it has been the best decision of my life.  The friends I have now are just genuine and caring about those around them.  I will forever be searching for an answer to the question of how someone can hurt someone else so bad and not feel any sort of guilt from it.  But for now, I am happy with myself and I know that the experience I had has pushed me even harder to accomplish my dreams and turn the "weird girl" I once was into the "successful girl" I am today.  One that is happy with her life, her body, and proud that I am confident enough that I don't have to be hurtful to others to feel power in myself. ♥

To everyone out there dealing with bullying now, don't ever give up and don't ever lose hope.  Life gets so much better and life is worth living.  Believe me when I tell you that you are not alone in what you are feeling and there are people out there who want to listen, who want to help, and want to care.  xoxo ♥

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