The Gift of Family

I suppose I started to get bullied when I entered high school. Or at least this is when I started to notice it. I had always gotten bullied because of my weight. I was never physically abused but I was verbally abused. People would always make joke.

The worst year for me was probably freshman and junior year in high school. I never had a problem making friends. I had a lot of friends. I'm not sure if they noticed the bullying but none of them ever spoke up for me. I remember this one time in a class I had. These two boys were fight and one said " stop or i'll get kelsey to sit on you". That hurt. Those words really cut me deep. I pretended I didn't hear it because I didn't want them to know how much it hurt me. In another class they would whisper " precious" under their breath. They were referring to the movie with the full figured girl in it. I pretended I didn't hear those things either. The one straw that broke my back was this one kid who would always call me black Jupiter. It got so bad that I finally told my brother and he told him to back off. I don't know what I would have done without my brother. That year I was very depressed, I had suicidal thoughts, and I had tried cutting myself. I had never told my family about this. If I hadn't asked my brother to stand up for me I don't know where I would be today. I really wish he knew how much he helped me.

In junior year of high school I got another bully. At my high school on each floor we had a huge open space in the middle. When I would walk by the third floor he would whisper and point at me and sometimes shout things. It got so bad that I would walk around the entire floor just to avoid going through the middle and seeing him. I remember one day thinking that I should just go up to him and say " how would you feel if you knew I ended my life today because of your bullying", but I didn't. I never told anybody about my troubles. That is my one regret. If I had told someone then maybe that would have saved me some pain and trouble.

I am now a college student. I still get looks sometimes and I can tell they are looking at my weight. I am still very self conscious about it, but I have learned that it doesn't matter what everyone else thinks, only what I think. I honestly believe my family saved me from killing myself. Although they never knew about my thoughts, they were always there for me and supported me. They were the base that I could always come back to, and they would fight for me no matter what. I could imagine disappointing them and ending my life. I would never want to put them through that pain.

My ending message to this is be around people who support you. If you think one of your "friends" is trying to bring you down then they aren't really your friends. They should be making jokes at you behind your back. And remember that your family will have your back no matter what. And if they don't then there are always websites like these to lift you back up.

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