The Change

Hi I'm Edward Rho, I'm a senior in Renton High School. I'm from Seattle, Washington.

It started off my middle school year. I didn't had friends back then. All I've been through was limping with bruises and blood. I've been verbally and physically bullied. I always concealed myself inside the bathroom, because I didn't want to get hurt. People called me names like fat, ugly, worthless, dumbass, and that I'll never be loved, so they told me to kill myself. I was punched, kicked, stomped, thrown everyday. There was no help. I believed all the negativity they said to me, which led me to think myself that "enough was enough." I tried to kill myself in 8th grade. I picked up my dad's gun and went to the bathroom in the house. I looked myself in the mirror. Gun on my head and closing my eyes. That last phrase, "You'll never be loved, so go kill yourself." BANG. Thug on the floor. right after I pulled it. I saw a flash, where I saw happiness and joy. I woke up with a wound on my head, luckily I was still alive. Which led me to think, the flash that I saw, meaning, should I have a second chance. I took that chance.

High school year. I finally had friends. I was very happy. I was also happy because,I had my first girlfriend in Sophomore year, she's korean. Very beautiful like Kpop star. But...she dumped me. Because she said I'm ugly, unintelligent, and that she told me "I'll never get a girl like her." It blew me away, Tried to find some cure to prevent my depression. I lost her. I wanted her back. But no. Then, One girl I met who already graduated name Roedah, who I call big sister. She changed my life. She gave me a Christmas gift. And it was a first gift from a friend. She really loved me as a brother. She believes in me that I can do something better. She always think a positive side. I told her about my life and my first gf. She was mad, but at the same time. She loves me who I am. she wanted me to change and make a difference. And made difference of my life.

Feb.25 2013. My Grandpa passed away from a lung cancer to a heart attack. I lost someone who was always there to comfort me. Believed in me. Comes every summer to check on me. Looking at my Grandpa's body, I dropped on the ground with a cry where I thought my life is over. Cousins crying, where there are so much things we want to share to him. Last time I saw him was at Portland. Family gathering. I remember him when all the cousins were about to take pictures with the parents. He said that "this is my definition." Which I finally know what he meant. "Love is family." Even though their just my friends at school and cousins. We all count them as family. But I was depressed. I gave up in school. Didn't feel like studying.

March 25,13. I've met a girl. at the park. Who I changed her life. I wanted to help her. even though we strangers. I saw a picture of her mother, who she passed away from cancer as well. She was nervous to talk to me. But she had the guts, the voice to share her life story, where we had the same connection about bullying. But hers was all about BEAUTY. She wanted to be beautiful. But she always says, she's ugly because of her birthmark that takes up to her arm to her face. I told her that she is beautiful with all the reasons in God's words. And thank me.

I want to tell you guys that there is hope. Hope is found. Never ever end you life. You guys are beautiful what God had created you. Samuel 6:17 and Corinthians 4:16. It doesn't matter about the outer appearance, because God already knows you are beautiful. But whats more beautiful is your heart. Yes you had all this pain, but God didn't created you like junk. God created you to see if you can reach the Highest mountain and believe that you are beautiful and will be renewed to a whole new person that will redefine who you are. You guys have the voice to share out your life and that you are the change. 

I know it's a little abstruse. Thank you.

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