I am 13 and have been bullied all my life and still is . I never really had friends in life and if I did they were back stabers. In elementary I tried playing tag with all the kids but they would make up excuses saying that there is too many playing or they are about to finish and I was like okay then :/ and sat by myself for the rest of recess. Other times kids would let me play but then there was always that one kid saying I was too slow for them and I couldn't play so they wouldn't let me. Now about two years ago when I started 6th grade that's when the real bullying began , I gained a lot of friends but sometime in the middle of the year people started to call me a slut and a whore and etc.. I didn't know what to do and I didn't even know who started it until I did find out and it turned out to be my bestfriend who started the rumors because she heard a different rumor about me that wasn't true so I lost her and everyone else after it . Then summer comes and EVERYTHING is better and I am happy and everything but then the bullying starts again in 7th grade and it's 50 million times as worse . People are trying to fight me , people say I am talking bad and doing sexual things and all this other stuff and I am just a loner not knowing what the heck to do . And I did have a few good friends and they were there for me but my bestest friend of all , this chick pushed me away from her she always got in the way pushing me against walls and out of my seat at lunch just to sit next to my bestest friend to tear me apart and I couldn't take it and rumors were getting worse and all the new friends I gained ... I lost :'( . Then the last day of the school comes and I am happy like so happy it's all over but then this chick , she comes up to me and starts shouting at me and calling me names saying that people are telling her I want to fight her and I don't . I am a pacifist I can't stand it I cry instantly if I hurt someone . And so she calls me the b word and other stuff then walks away . Then I start crying . And then I remember how the day b4 my parents were in this huge argument and so I start crying even more and my friends who are there for me in the lunch line are freaking out running up to me saying what did she say to me and stuff and I am just sitting at the table crying my eyes out not being able to breathe i'm so sad . And one of them runs over and hears the chick talking about how she is going to come up to me and punch me and I JUST BREAK DOWN IN TEARS LIKE CRAZY there was no way of stopping my tears and so the bully comes to me and says Why are you crying i'm not even being mean to you ?! Seriously ?! and I was like you are being mean you have been all year and my parents are having issues and this is the last day of school and your starting this drama and then she was like So (no names) ___ is having family issues too and you don't see her friends coming up to her or you don't see her cry at school and she barley has friends to anyone too and I was like that's because she's a bully just like you so leave me alone please and she was like fine whatever then she left and then came back like 2 minutes later and was like "STOP BEING A F'N ATTENTION SEEKER SERIOULSY AND I wasn't planning on fight you ! " then she walked away .. and after lunch she pushed me against the wall into the window of the door. Over the summer I was cutting myself and was crying everyday . I couldn't take the bullying people wanted to fight me so often that I couldn't even leave me house . I got sent away to mental physililties it was fun because we played games and I didn't have to worry about the drama and I met people who were going through the same thing I was so I had fun. And now i'm in 8th grade and because of all the drama from the other school I am at a new school . I only have a couple of friends and I am still bullied everyday I still cut myself and I think of going suiside almost everyday but then I think of my mom because she's mental and I can't leave her with my dad because he's an alcholic. But at school people call me the same thing and pushes me into the walls I got hit by a truck and have a broken arm and people still push me in the walls . There isn't much drama because I don't have many friends people don't talk to me about anything . This chick said she was my friend and she was upset and I asked her what's wrong , she flipped her hair back and said eghf and just avoided me . I am not the same as everyone else I don't spread rumors and I NEVER talk bad about someone even if they say something about me , people say they are my friend but there not . I cry myself to sleep EVERYNIGHT and almost everyday after school . After watching BULLY and how that chick said she was still alive because of a couple of her friends . I am alive because of mine too . If I ever loose one I would leave but I know I won't .. I cut myself and stay quite but if I am around people who respect me , I am loud outrageous and the brightest person you can meet , but I don't have many people to show it too :'( . I'm glad I have this website to help me out .... I am Jessica age 13 8th grade this is my life !
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