As a child I was never really the social type. I spent my time playing with kids who never wanted me there, I kind of just played alongside them. I told my parents everything, except I learned to keep that tiny detail very well hidden from them since they always thought I was as strong as them. But it got to the point the bullying became physical and I cried myself to sleep. I felt I was worthless and I was supposed to feel this way because everyone else thought I was. My parents blamed themselves for everything I was going through, which added on to the guilt of my conscious. I knew deep down that everybody would be much better if I were dead. So I tried to choke, drown, and suffocate myself. All in which I chickened out in the process. My parents finally decided to take me to see someone for help, someone to talk to. They told us that writers, such as myself,oftentimes suffer from depression. I had to take antidepressants and anxiety pills. Everyday I gain more knowledge of kids taking their lovely lives because of bullying. And it makes me so weak inside knowing I did nothing to stop it. As I watched Bully, tears rolled out of me like they never have before. As the documentary ended I looked down at my arm and pulled up my shirt to look at my stomach and cried some more. The scars I know have because of what kids have put me through, the cousins that continuously tortured me. But as someone who now looks forward tobecoming a future FBI agent, I block the bad thoughts and think of ways to change everything I possibly can. It's a shame kids have to do what they do to be heard. And even then, nothing is done. Yet people still laugh and point, I never let anyone feel alone. Why? Because I've been there, and I don't think anyone should ever have to feel that way. I wake up every morning saying to myself that I am worthy, loved, andspecial. And I make sure everyone around me feels that way. Not a day will go by as long as I live where I will not be working my hardest at bringing bullying to an end. As someone who knows what its like, death is never the answer. There's people out there who WILL miss you. Even if it takes a lifetime to find them, it's all worth it in the end. R.I.P. to everyone who has taken their lives due to this, you will ALWAYS be in our hearts!
Stranger Sharing Smiles
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