People - stop ignoring what you see and hear - step up and get involved (part 1)

                                                    BULLING, IT HAS TO STOP - - THE TRUTH ABOUT WHAT'S GOING ON!

Here's my story, it's been a long time coming. As usual I just say what I think, putting it straight between the eyes.

Maybe this will save just one person from going too far. Weather it's the person being tormented or the bullies realizing, maybe their going
to far, along with the teachers. parents. and others that see things they ignore. I've wanted to write about this for so many years. with all these
kids committing suicides and school shootings, etc ... maybe its time to say this.

I know several people will get defensive. For those that do, ask yourself, why your so defensive and then look close to home.
"For those being bullied, please either talk to your parents or write out what's going on to let them know"

I moved from the city (Birmingham) to this small community. people seemed friendly enough. they wanted to meet you and be nice to you.
That was until they realized you were a little different. You didn't care to "hang" in their groups, so to speak. Being in one of the groups
"THE IN CROWD" I called it.

By being in one of these groups you were now one of them, "the in crowd" you could do no wrong in the eyes of the parents, teachers,
preachers. church members, etc .... and if you did, it seemed to be over looked, "their a good kid, they just made a mistake".  So, to their
parents, friends, preacher's. church members. things they hear or see about them, seem to be overlooked more often than not.

By being in one of these groups it usually meant you picked on or made fun other people (just going along with your group, its not really
hurting anyone), it also usually meant you were most likely drinking, smoking pot etc ... (now days other drugs and things more now than then
I suppose). Remember these are the good kids, "the in crowd". They go to church every Sunday, participate in sports and other activities.
They couldn't do anything like this (not as long as they were involved with activities in the community, church, etc ... )

WAKE UP PEOPLE, you can't be that easy to con, you know what's going on, but again. you just choose to ignore it. Because if you say
anything, you won't be part of your "in crowd" any longer. maybe you'll have a conflict with someone in your group because you care enough
to say "stop that, it's not nice or it's wrong", (so are they really your friend). It's time to stand up and say "enough". Speak up on what you
really know, see and think, this has got to stop. If not, your just part of it.

Don't forget. YOU TEACH YOUR CHILDREN TO BE WHO AND HOW THEY ARE by your actions, your words, what you do or do not
accept being said or done.

My torment, other than all day verbal abuse and down grading comments in front of everyone, including teachers, parents, etc ... was being
put in lockers with stuff being sprayed though the holes or being picked up by my neck and held up against a wall along with so many other
things I won't get into now, although I will detail just a few later on in this note. ALL this going on while other students AND TEACHERS
walked by. none or which ever once stopped, not once and said. hey, stop that.

I guess they really didn't think I heard their down grading comments about me as I walked by, that really hurt when all I wanted to do was
have friends. Although, if having friends meant being like "the in crowd", I'm glad I only had a few, because they were true friends.

"Friend", isn't that someone who accepts you as you are, not because you do everything or agree with everything they do.
What was worse, no one, other than a few people, 2 in particular. (friend I and friend 2) my whole time this local school stood up and said,
hey stop that, its mean. Friend 1. was one of the "in crowd" and friend 2 was a drop out who had a bad reputation. Although when I hung
around with friend 2 he never, not once did any of the things (drinking, drugs, stealing etc ..) that he had the reputation for, he was just a nice
person who didn't have many friends either. Friend 1. was and I guess to this day is a good person, he saw what was going on and made efforts
to stop it.

My point here is. I guess the people, "the in crowd" had started these rumors. just as they had done with me on a few things to cover their
actions so their parents. teachers and church members would look at other people. like me different. so it would cover what they actually did
when they were out.

After my taste of this, I realized what hypocrites most of these good church going people were and stopped caring anything about church,
school, etc ... I know what type person I am vs. who they really are. Myself, instead of hanging with the in crowd, T worked before and after
school everyday. T just did things right throughout my life and made a very good lite for myself   


Here's a few of those other things that just stick out in my mind: ( there are so many others)

Once again, some of the in crowd, were holding me against a wall at the drink machines and taking my money. A teacher walked by, he
stopped and said - "hey if your going to do that, do it where I cant see it". WOW! What kind of statement did that make, guess it's ok to do
it as long as he doesn't see it. I later ask that teacher why he didn't help. I was paddled by him for "questioning" his comment. A very hard
paddle, by today's standards it would be assault. I felt the first hit of the paddle. then my butt went numb. Later that night I looked in the
mirror to see a very black bruised butt. I never said anything to anyone, I regret that to this day.

I wasn't the sports minded type of kid, so again I was not part of the in crowd". During PE I didn't care to play football because the abuse was
extremely hard. the bullies (and of coarse some of the other kids went along with it, I guess so they could feel part of something). They would
ensure I got hit harder over and over. Seems the coach would notice. huh. After this, because I didn't play, I was then punished by the coach,
usually having to stand in one spot holding something heavy for the entire class. I won't get into the things that would happen if I had to use
the shower room with those same bullies.

Later on, a week or so. in that same teachers class (the one from the drink machine) one of the bullies sitting behind me kept slapping the
back of my head while making rude comments out loud about me, I ask the teacher to please move me to another seat, I was told to just deal
with it. So I did, next time he slapped the back of my head I turned around and squarely popped him between the eyes and knocked him out
of his chair. That was the very first time I had ever hit anyone. That's where it got interesting. now with all this going on. the class knew and
most importantly the teacher knew. The bully went to the front of the class and ask the teacher if he could speak with me outside, the teachers
comment again, "Just wait until class is over and deal with it", WOW, another one of those statements just saying it's ok. Later on when we
got out of class. as I expected the bully came after me (with everyone gathering in the hallway to watch), luckily I got a very good punch in and
the bully went down. (although he was getting up a would have pulverized me), but by now another teacher had stepped in. He took us to the
principles office, which keep in mind, also knew all that had been going on the past few years with theses bullies. The principle actually said,
we had to be paddled or suspended, I would not accept either, I was the one being bullied and defending myself. Well, that was my last day in
school, I quit on the spot, I was not going to tolerate being bullied and it being condoned by most everyone.

These are just a few of many things that happened, my point here is. All this was seen and heard by teachers and nothing said or done to
stop it. I guess they were afraid to have any conflict with parents of the popular "in crowd" students, then they would be the outcast or the one
distanced away from the in crowd.

This next part is for those being bullied:
First I'd like to say I fully understand your feelings. wanting things to be over or walking into a school with a AK47. Although that will not
change a thing with these bullies, you'll be the only one noticed and seen as the bad kid with issues, and they will still be doing the same things.

Please just continue doing things right and be patient, things will work out, usually better for you, than for them.

Stay strong, your day will come. Don't be afraid to talk things out with someone. There are people who do care. Actually. after all these years
I came across that teacher and told him what he did, I could clearly see he remembered, he apologized. I felt like so much had been lifted off
my shoulders after that conversation.

I've had a very good life. made a lot of money and pretty much done anything I wanted. By doing the right things and not letting the bullies of
the world get me down. Everyone's situation and lives will be different, just stay strong and do the right things.

One day you'll look back at those that tormented you and laugh.

Do not let them get you down, when they do, they win.

I look around now and see some of "the in crowd" from my school days, I see several of them, grown adults, with nothing to show for
their life, always in trouble with the law, in and out of jail or prison, in and out of rehab, married and divorced multiple times, can't get or keep
a job, back living with their parents, etc ... Several of them seem to get "God" in their life, start preaching, and of coarse passing around the
collection plate.

To me. they WILL ALWAYS be the bully, once things are said or done. they can't be taken back. Don't forget that.

Now to be fair, not everyone that's in a group are bullies. Although, more times than not these other groups saw what was going on and ignored
it, maybe if one of them spoke out or befriended someone they saw being bullied or abused. That would have gone a long way to make a
statement, that its not ok to treat someone like that.

Although, I do admit it feels really good to see how the life of some of those that tormented me in school turned out. So please don't let them
get you down, your life will work out fine. Again. one day you'll look back and laugh at those bullies and pity their unfortunate life's.


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