I will be honest and say that my 8th grade and freshmen year of school I was a very harsh bully. I would pick on kids and hurt them both physically and verbally. I was one of those kids who, I guess, "fit in". What people didn't know is that I was going through a rough time with my parents getting divorced and my "father" abandoning my family. He was an alcoholic and I told him he had to choose me and my siblings or alcohol and then I never heard from him again. I know that's no reason to hurt anyone else but I was in pain and I felt better once I made someone feel my pain.
But the summer after my freshmen year something changed in me. I was tired of seeing all the suicides and school shootings caused by bullying. Depression and anxiety in my mother's side of the family and we found that I was diagnosed with those 2 personality disorders. I would lock myself in my room and talk to no one from the end of my freshmen year to the beginning of my junior year. I am currently a junior in high school now. I have made amends with every one I have hurt in the past and we are all pretty good friends now! I feel so much better now that I have stopped hurting others for my own pleasure and to know they have forgiven me.
My sophomore year of highschool was the worst though because I went from an athlete to one of those kids who dye their hair, where skinny jeans and band-T's. I didn't fit in anymore and everyone started bullying me. I was one of the few who spoke out against bullying in my school and that only made things for me worse. The people I used to call "friends" started to judge me and say hurtful things to me and even told me to kill myself. I have attempted suicide several times. But I am a lot better now. I mainly have music to thank for that. One band that has truly saved me is The Color Morale. I seen them live and met Garret Rapp, who is honestly the nicest guy and most caring. He has shown me the light at the end of every tunnel.
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