I know so many people go through so much more than I do, and I feel really whiney telling you about my story but I might as well give it a shot...since I can remember I have always been insecure about myself, hating right about every inch of my body, I could easily find every flaw about myself. I would tell people about how I felt and they'd say I was just looking for attention, and it got to the point where I believed it myself. I know, it sounds weird but I did, I just started to believe I was an attention seeking whore, so I would just keep every thing bottled up inside me. It was horrible, I wouldn't talk to anyone about how I felt, just sit there and listen to their problems that they wanted to talk about. Meanwhile I was getting made fun of, talking about what a small butt I have, that I have not butt, how weird I looked that day, or how fat/ugly I was. I hated myself. Every little thing got to me. My now ex best friend bullied me, turning all of my friends against me through lies and her manipulation. Things got better but not long after that, one of my closest guy friends started calling me ugly, fat, worthless, suicidal, lesbian, bitch, the list goes on. I cried...a lot. As the name calling continued, I started to self harm, it started with scratching, then sliding push pins across my skin to make it burn and then cutting. I don't cut anymore, but I had gotten so depressed that I just couldn't deal with myself anymore, making my fat, ugly thighs uglier. I wanted myself to feel pain because for a long time I was numb, and didn't feel anything at all. to this day I still feel worthless, not good enough. because I'm not like other girls, I can't get a boyfriend easily. and I'm not a girly girl like most girls. I've never had my first kiss like the majority of my school. I'm an outcast, different.
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