My story started when i was put in ESE. Everything was amazing, fun, and I had so many friends. in first grade, the program decided to put me in regular classes with ESE classes. The thing is that I speech disability and I kinda had some dyslexia on the side. From the first day till the end of elementary school, I was bullied emotionally and sometimes physically. I was left out, pushed around, laughed at, humiliated in front of everyone, and only had 2 to 3 friends. Girls called fat, stupid, ugly, hideous. The boys all ways told me "no one will ever like me or love me." I believed it. There was this girl who told me everyday "no boy will every like you and that everyone hated me." I believed that too. It spiraled down to the point of self-harming, suicidal thoughts, depression, and horrible grades. I felt alone, lost, and hopeless. I was numb and hopeless inside, I just wanted to end it all. I saw my self as a nothing and I saw my self in a negative way. My parents found out of my self-harming and immediately put me to rehab. Even though i relapsed a few times, i was able to overcome my self-harming and my negative feelings. I finally got a fresh start and started to be positive. I didn't feel alone, lost, or hopeless. I finally felt happy. I still have emotional scars, some times I wake up in the middle of the night having dreams and thoughts of the bullying that has happened to me. But now I am healthy and happy and getting my life moving on.
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