It all started with a lie. A bad man trying to sneak his way into a young girls heart. It worked. The day I met him in person, he ended up being a monster who ruined a few years of my life. Rape is one of the hardest things someone has to deal with. Especially if you are so scared that you end up going through it alone. I went 4 years before I told anyone and almost 5 before I reached out to my family for help.
Within those few years of dealing with this alone I went through some tough times. I had to deal with personal feelings of hatred for myself and extreme distrust in others. I had to deal with the thoughts in my head that were telling me I was nothing more than trash. So that is how I treated myself. I was 15 years old and started to act out severely. I was looking for positive attention from guys to make myself feel better. I did things I am not proud of. One day it just became to much.
I tried to take my own life once but couldnt bring myself to doing it. I then went into a downward spiral of stress and depression. This was all at the age of 15 and 16. It got to the point where it was taking a toll on my physically. I had to see multiple doctors and missed a lot of school. When I did have the chance to go to school, I was stuck dealing with the teachers asking a million questions and the stares from the other students. I didn't know the rumors flying around school at that time. I was left with no friends at all. This is when I made my choice to finish high school online. After about a month or so my mom received a letter in the mail. It was addressed to my mom and said it was from the junior class of my high school. It was a handwritten letter saying that I was a slut and dropped out of school because I was pregnant with a random guys baby. It included many other insults and even some mean remarks about my mother. That was the last straw.
I finally couldn't take it anymore. I was hurt for the very last time. I was broken but not beyond fixing. I didn't know who it was that sent the letter but I stood up for myself and made the truth public via facebook. I told them that they couldnt hurt me. I told them that I was done hiding from the bullying. I was done letting one terrible night ruin the rest of my life.
From that day forward I grew. I finally came forward with the truth to my family and got the help I needed to cope with what happened. I spoke out against everything that people had ever done to me. As of this moment in time I am almost 20, living on my own, working, and paying my own way through vet tech school. I didn't let them win. I won. I WON!
I am now an advocate of The Bully Project to help other people see the light at the end of the tunnel. Let us all stand up and join hands to end this disgusting mess called bullying and maybe we can save a few lives.
By writing some words below, you are showing your support and letting everyone know they're not alone.