I was never very open to people, I've always been kind of the shy kid. Since I was chubby, weird-looking and quiet, I was an easy target. During 5th grade, I went through hell, I was terrified of going to school because I was picked on all the time. The scary thing was that even the teacher was in on it. I'd get sent to the office for things others would do and called names, a rumor was started that I was also gay, I was a 10 year old kid. It was pretty absurd of them to call me gay just for my feminism, which came from growing up with mostly women. One day I was beat up by two kids in a bathroom stall and it was taped. I went to the principal about this. Nothing was done. Despite the things I would go through and the things I experienced during the following years, Middle School, where I was called fatass and many profane names, I remained strong(in my way) I would self harm and starve myself. I lost an incredible amount of weight and was diagnosed with Anemia, which meant that if I didn't take care of myself, I would develop Leukemia. I was molested by a "friend" in middle school. Pressured to do things I didn't want to. I was called worthless, useless, pathetic, by many people. even family. There was no one I could turn to. No one would listen, so I turned to the razor blade. It's amazing what bracelets and smiles could hide. Despite everything I went through, I have remained strong. because I don't want to see my sisters suffer. I don't want them to go through what I did. I wanted to be emotionally strong. There are many voices in my head. (am I crazy?) telling me the same things, "You're worthless, Useless, nobody wants you, not even your parents"
So many times I have wished I was dead.
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