My name is Taylor. I have been bullied since I was five. I am sixteen now. it use to be just snide comments about how I looked or how I dressed. I never really liked anything girly, so I wore more tomboy clothes, like jeans and T-shirts. In fifth grade, I stood up to some "popular" girls, because they were bullying another girl and telling her she was worthless. I told them they were wrong. I told the girl that I cared and she was one of the best people who went to our school. I meant it. We became good friends. I will never regret standing up for her. But I am now a lot of the bullies main target. The bullies would torture me each year. The summer before seventh grade was the first time I considered suicide. I thought, "If I die now, I won't ever have to go to school again." I continued to get bullied, therefore continued to think about suicide. Ninth grade was the worst. People started telling me to go kill myself, to go to hell. They said no one would care or miss me. I told my parents that year that I was suicidal. I was already seeing a therapist, for social anxiety. My therapist told them to send me to a psychiatric hospital. The group therapist there told me and other patients that we should feel guilty for feeling depressed, and how sorry she felt for our parents having to deal with us. So I stopped talking about it. I told everyone I am feeling so much better now. I moved schools in tenth grade, hoping to get a new start. I still got bullied. I attempted suicide in September 2012. All I could think about was how if I died, I wouldn't have to go to school ever again, I wouldn't have to be bullied by all those kids ever again. I am on home bound now. Which means, for a temporary while, I don't go to school, and the school system sends a teacher to my house every week. They are slowly integrating me back into the school. Even the few classes I go to now, I get bullied. I always stand up for others when they get bullied, but no one has ever stood up for me. I have friends, but the kids seem to bully me when they aren't around. I have started to tell people, at the school, but they usually just shrug their shoulders. I did tell my fifth grade teacher a few times, but she eventually just told me I was tattling and to grow up. This has discouraged me from telling people about bullying. I have been in one fight before, and it was because some girls were shoving my best friend. I am very dedicated and loyal friend, and I don't like it when my friends are being pushed around. I am not quite sure what I am going to do about it. But I am hoping to just make it through high school. I graduate in 2015. Wish me luck.
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