As with most kids, I was bullied. However I don’t think that most kids have gone through what I’ve gone through. I was home schooled by religious parents until sixth grade, and then thrown into the public school system. I had never really talked to other kids, didn’t know the ways of the world, so my idea of school was that of Disney movies. I was sure that there would be one mean kid who I would thwart in the end and we all would grow to be great friends. Sadly this wasn’t the case. For three years at that school I was physically and emotionally tortured. I was pushed and punched and stabbed and choked and tripped and booked and even sexually assaulted a couple times. Called every derogatory name you can think of and then some. Towards the end of seventh grade I realized I was gay, which you think I would have realized sooner seeing as people had been calling me a disgusting faggot for two years. In eighth grade it got to the point where I couldn’t take it anymore, and I only saw one way out. I threatened to bomb the school, and was kicked out, sent to court, and charged with a felony. After that I went to a new school, where people talked just as much crap about me, but it only got physical once or twice. I’ve struggled with anorexia and self harm. I’ve tried to kill myself three times. From all the years of people picking on every one of my flaws I can no longer leave the house without coats of makeup (I’m a boy, so this usually just brings more picking) and now I have terrible anxiety. I always feel like people are watching me or talking about me no matter what. I had to drop out of high school altogether due to these feelings, I’m clinically depressed, at times manic, I’ve relapsed into self harm, and I hate, no loathe every single inch of my disgusting worthless body. I am still very suicidal, and the reason I’m writing this is because if you’re a parent, or a student being bullied or a bully yourself, this is what can happen to people. Kids out there younger than me have it worse than I did; I’m 17 and haven’t left my house in 7 months. Don’t let your child/let yourself/make someone turn out like me. It’s not worth it.
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