Hi. My name is Sam Smolenski. I'm a junior at Bowling Green State University. I've been a victim of bullying since I was in second grade. Growing up I didn't really have much like the other kids. My family didn't come from money nor did my mom have a great paying job. But we managed. Second grade is when I got my first pair of glasses, I was called four eyes for that year. Also, in second grade I started gaining weight because of the medication I was on. I started being called fat, and that never changed.
In elementary school I was cyberbullied by a girl in my grade. She called me words I didn't know the meaning of, and she probably didn't either. Fifth grade I think. That's when the F word became a part of my vocabulary because it was the word I chose to stand up for myself with. My mom called the police and they said that if it happened again they'd take of it. But in the meantime they said to ignore it. It never happened again, with that girl at least.
Middle school was rough, but I think it is for a lot of people. I was an outcast. I was bigger than some of the girls. I acted out a lot to get the attention that I wasn't getting. I got detention more often than anything. In high school I really calmed down. But that doesn't mean that the bullying stopped. I was still an outcast, still not a size 2. I was bullied on the bus many times, but only verbally. I was always called fat in high school. And I wasn't "popular" because I wasn't blonde, wasn't a bitch, and didn't have big boobs. My freshmen year I was in choir and me and the teacher never got along. To him I was a disturbance to the class and I was a bad influence because I stood up for myself. If someone else was doing something they weren't supposed to be doing in class, I'd copy them to see who'd get in trouble first. It was always me. Then I took two years off of choir, and went back my senior year. It was the same thing all over again. My senior year I wad editor of the school newspaper for the second time and I often challenged the school, so this one teacher wasn't about to stop me from doing it to him. The one person who deserved to be challenged the most. Well, I was only in choir a semester before being kicked out because I was again standing up for myself. The teacher would tell other students not to be friends with me because I was a bad influence. He also told me that I would never make it in a college choir. I was in choir my freshmen year in college and I did great.
Now, I'm in a sorority, working with athletics, and a part of an organization that is raising money for a university gateway into the community.
I stood up for myself for year on end. But there were time that I thought I could make it all end. Time where I thought that committing suicide would have been better for the world. In middle school is when those feelings started to come to life. Then in high school if something went wrong I'd cut my wrist or my thigh. But never deep enough to bleed because I was afraid of my own blood at times like that. But I had a realize my potential. I had to live for myself.
College is much different than the years before. There's still bullying, oh yes that never stops. But you become more aware of what's acceptable and how to stand up for other people you see being victimized. You come to appreciate your own voice too and the power to come to have.
Being bullied put me down. But I'm almost 21 and I'm tired of hearing and seeing young kids being bullied. That was me at one point. I want to stand up for those who are afraid to have a voice.
By writing some words below, you are showing your support and letting everyone know they're not alone.