My first contact with bullying was in 2005 when I was in the 4th grade. My family had fallen apart because my mother was diagnosed with cancer. But being so young, my family decided not to tell me what was happening. All I knew was that my mother was extremely sick. From then on my life just turned upside down. My class was separated by levels, the smart kids in the back, the intermediate ones in the middle, and the "slow learners" in front, needless to say I was in front. Yes, I was bullied by the teacher. The school had been made aware of what was going on in my family, so all of the teachers were aware of my situation. But in Brazil when you are in the 4th grade, you don't change classes, nor teachers, you have one teacher for every subject except P.E., music and art. Well, the teacher I had, was just peachy, she would always call on me to answer questions about things we hadn't even learned yet. She ridiculed me, she loved to make fun of me, and every time I answered a question, even if I did answer it right, she would say it was wrong, and lecture me about how I didn't pay attention in class. Once when the class took a mid-term exam, she gave it back to the students, and corrected it out loud, so we knew what we did wrong. When she got to question 25 or something, she stopped and said she was disappointed with the entire class, because we should have gotten the question right, but only one of us did. She came up to me and said I was the only one, she looked at the answer and even though it was correct, she said she was wrong, I couldn't have been the one to get it right because I wasn't smart enough. Soon after, one of my class mates, also started bullying me, saying my parents didn't love me, so they left me in the middle of a forest and that I was raised by monkeys. He used to say I looked like a monkey man, and that I was too ugly for anyone to love. When I got home, I would tell my family, but nobody seemed to believe me, they were already worried enough. When I had to do projects my father would disapprove of all of them, tell me I was doing it all wrong, and that it wasn't good enough, and that I was stupid for not being able to come up with anything better. He kept saying I was making up excuses and that I was just saying my teacher and classmate were picking on me because I wanted attention, but that soon changed when I came home crying and told them the bully and teacher said I deserved what was happening to my family. My family contacted the school principal and headmaster, and the next day had a meeting, I asked them to change classes, but they told me they had to talk to my teacher, and she said she wouldn't allow it, because I was her best student and that I was her favorite. She said she wouldn't like me to change classes, because I was too smart to go to another class, because I brought up the class's GPA. So, I stayed in that class, and at the end of the year, even though I had the grades to go to 5th grade, my teacher failed me, she told me to my face I was too stupid to keep up with my classmates, and sooner or later I was going to fail anyway. I was at peace for two years. When tragedy struck me once again in 6th grade. One the second day of school my mother passed away. I missed 2 days of school, and when I came back the school literally said to me; "Your mother died? you'll get over it, now forget about her, and get on with your work." One of my best friends told me someone in school had made up a rumor I invented my mother died because I wanted attention. I was hated by everyone, even the ones that called themselves my friends. All I had were 3 actual friends.  That was the year I started cutting. To make things even worst some girls in my year decided to come up with rumors that I was giving boys a "good time." I didn't know what to do, because there was no way I could prove them wrong, all of the popular boys would confirm I was doing that. Suicide was a constant thought in my mind. The end of the year finally came, and I was out of that school, I transferred to a school where nobody knew my name. There I was able to start over, and make actual friends, or so I thought. My happiness soon came to an end, when on the 9th grade, the girl that made up all the rumors about me transferred to that same school. Once again I started cutting, but this time it was because she was ending most of my friendships, and my best friend was moving to another country. When my father came to me with a salvation, moving to the United States for a year. I was relieved when he told me that. I was finally going to be able to start fresh somewhere new. Once again the girl followed me, but this time she went to a different school, I was happy, I stopped cutting, and I felt like I belonged. When I came back it all went down hill again. I started school in a Brazilian school, I was miserable there, I had no friends, everyone judged me for the first month, and one day I started making a couple of friends. At the end of the year one of my friends left school, and when school started again, who was enrolled in my school, the one person I despise the most in the world. I was friendly, but all I wanted to do was break down and cry. I started cutting again, and the fights I still have with my sister never helped. See, for some odd reason, she is the reason for my anxiety and part of my depression. She always puts me down, and constantly compares me to people. She is the main reason for my anxiety and part of my depression. I can barely say I have a family now, all my father cares about is his new family and I never see him. My brother lives alone, and is the only one that tries, and my sister only cares about herself and her fake friends. I've been forced to take care of myself since I was 8. My sister is almost 33 and wishes or mother was still alive so she would do all the work for my sister. I wish my mother was still alive because I miss her, she was my rock, my everything. How can my sister only think about how she wouldn't have to be doing things herself if my mother was still alive? I would give up everything just to spend another second with her. She keeps trying to stop me from moving to the US, because she thinks I'm not ready. She blames me for everything. It is always my fault and I'm never good enough. She doesn't even know what I like to do. My father's girlfriend tries to break up my family and put us against each other, which apparently she was capable of doing. I have now attempted suicide 3 times. There's only one person that is keeping me going apart from my mother. All I think about is my time away from this hell, far from these people. People have judged me, made fun of me, ridiculed and even punished for the way I think, talk and act.