I was in a bowling league that had an inside clique made up of retired school teachers. Age group: Baby Boomers.
From the beginning this clique gave the cold shoulder to newcomers, including me. Thus, newcomers came and went. I stuck it out because I found some women of good heart within the league.
But the worm eventually turned.
The ring leader of this clique was a loud, boorish, uncouth woman whose class-less behavior turned me off. I avoided her from the start. She turned my stomach.
In the third season of bowling this clique leader, Queen Bee, accused me of stealing money from the bowling kitty. I did not steal the money. In fact on the day that money went missing the ringleader who accused me was not even there. She made this up.
I learned of this slander when she accused me in public, on a later date, at a restaurant, in front of the other members. That shows class.
I was shocked that this took place in public. She wanted to humiliate me.
I took her aside, privately, and confronted her. She began changing the subject. That, my friends, is a Liar’s trick; change the subject like the Magician changes hands to distract you. Don’t fall for this crap. Keep them on subject. “We’re talking about THIS, not THAT.” It’s a way to handle sociopaths.
You can also say, “What’s your POINT?” That is a way to throw it back on them, and disrupt their machinations.
Queen Bee then left town for her vacation home and gave orders …
In her absence her minions began backstabbing me, telling others that I was now stealing from the poker kitty, and manipulating the hands that were dealt so that I would win the poker pots.
One of her minions told me I was no longer welcome at bowling. This minion had pretended to be my friend for three years.
‘Pretend Friend’ was faced with expulsion from the clique for being my friend. But she wants the invitation to the Queen Bee’s second home in Mesquite. She desperately wants social status, albeit social status with creeps.
And not good looking either. Frumpy clothes, bad hair, old ladies who have “let themselves go”. Nobody to take home to Mama. I feel sorry for their husbands, if you get my drift. The only thing going for them is a fat wallet.
Push came to shove.
‘Pretend Friend’ chose the creepy clique (the Hitlerians of the current world). Forget the loyal, heartfelt friendship from me.
She then unfriended me on Facebook.
My first thought: lie with snakes, get bit by snakes. Second thought: what goes around comes around.
So, good riddance.
But I wasn’t going down easy. No tail between these legs.
I took my defense to the court of public opinion via email.
I wrote an open letter to all the members of the bowling league, using the email distribution list, stating my case, omitting names (and name-calling), yet exposing the bullying, the chicanery, the backstabbing, the lack of integrity, and the meanness of this clique. I elegantly asserted my reasons for leaving the league.
Following that I received private emails from league members who said they did not believe the allegations, and thought the whole thing was “horrible”.
Of course it’s horrible. It’s inhumane. It’s everyone’s worst nightmare, no matter what the age.
One supporter told me she had been hearing the slander, did not believe it, but also did NOT defend me during gossip sessions, and apologized.
Following that, five supporters publicly dropped out of the league, using the distribution list to let everyone know they despised the witch hunt, and that they supported me. This effect goes back to aligning with women of good heart. Chutzpah helps also because what they did took personal courage.
Following that, the ringleader sent out a global email. She foolishly named herself as an accuser - in print - and listed a new round of ‘crimes’, including manipulating the poker money, and for anyone to please call her and she would detail the ‘crimes’, that “have been going on for years.” I suppose she would accuse me of assassinating Dr Martin Luther King if she could. Throw in also Abraham Lincoln. You get the point.
As of this writing the women who supported me have started a new bowling day for us in a different establishment, and I have contacted a Civil Attorney to handle the slander.
That’s my bully story.
Background: I was bullied all of my upbringing years by my Father. To stand up, no matter at what point in life, is necessary for soul recovery and to build self-esteem. Head up, back straight, and “give ‘em hell Harry”.