I was bullied very badly in middle school. After some rumors about me, the whole school started laughing at me, and making fun of everything I do. The friends I thought I had all turned against me, & I was very mad because of what happened. Some people started talking about how ugly i am. Some made fun of how I dress/accessories/perfumes. Some just made fun of me & laughed every time they see me. Others threw things at me multiple times, and there was this time that some guys got together & blocked my way to scare me. Yes, I was scared of them. I was scared of the whole school. Everytime i entered a class, I would be booed & laughed at. Even the people who were my friends acted like they didn't know me. I forced myself not to get weak, and I tried hard for more than 6 months, until one day in eighth grade, I didn't feel like going to the school anymore. I was absent to school once, and then I didn't go for the whole week. My parents begged me to go, but I would just cry and say I can't. Until it was suggested that I could move to another school. Although my parents never knew what happened, and I never spoke about it to anyone, they had a feeling that I didn't want to go to this school. When I moved, everything was fine, until everything that was said about me haunted me. I gradually stopped going to school because I would stay sick the whole night. I had a social anxiety, and a very bad anxiety to the point that I stay throwing up everything I ate the whole night. When the morning came, I would be too tired, deprived from sleep, and missed more school days. Then, depression hit me. I was very depressed & was about to give up on my life. I remembered how they laughed at me, at how I look, at how stupid I am for believing things, and I got more depressed. I started getting scared of eating because in the end I will stay up all night throwing everything up. I also stopped socializing with everyone. I was actually scared to talk to anyone, and I felt like they would laugh at me. Sometimes, I would get the bleach ready to drink it if I had to. Other times, I would leave the window open because I want to jump so bad but I felt sad for the people I might leave behind. I went to the emergency room many times, but they would check up on me, and find nothing. Then after few times, a doctor said I'm a liar, and I'm acting this way because I didn't want to go to school. After that, I lost all my trust in doctors, and basically everyone. In the end, I locked myself inside my room waiting for death to take me because I thought there was no solution. In the end of 8th grade, the principle refused to pass me because I missed more than 90 days in the year. It was very hard, but thankfully, since I'm a really good students that did something, and because I had an excuse from the doctor for the first months that I've been sick, I passed. But the problem didn't stop here because I was still very sick, and I didn't get over my sickness. My fear, and problems. Now, I am a college student, and although it's hard for me to forget what happened because it made a huge impact on my life, I'm living greatest. I met some really amazing people who helped me, and I got over my social phobia. Although it was hard, I regained my self confidence, and self esteem. & all of that is done by having tiny hope inside of me that didn't make me give up. While going through life while believing that life is good!
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