when it all started i was in elementary school so  1st grade. Out of all the kids in my class i was the outcast the weird one just because of the music i listened to no one my age or even at my school listened to rock/metal music they all just pushed me aside because i was different in there eyes. It wasnt all about the music tho they would always go after  the fact that i didnt have a mom its hard to see all your classmates getting picked up by their moms and i had a grandma to pick me up they would always just tease me about it. I also dont and didnt look like any of them they would make fun of my by calling me a freckled faced freak and that made me feel as if i wasnt even a human being at all. And all this went on till about ^th gard when we got a new student who was just like me he listened to the same music and he listened he was my best friend form 6th grade threw 8th but then he changed he started being a jerk and just not acting like a real freind should like calling me faggot and fuck face and almost any other horrible thing you could think of. All the bullying that happened to me wasnt physical but mental and that just made me not like myself anymore so in about 8th grade is when i started cutting i look back on it now and i would say its a bad thing and stupid but i have only stoped for almost 10 months now. But back to what i was saying so my grandmother noticed and took me to se a therapist and yea it was good to let it out but in my head i was still sooo sad and thought that maybe all those kids were right maybe i am just a freak maybe i am just a nothing, the horrible thing is we couldnt pay for my sessions anymore so i couldnt go and rite around the time i stoped going my dads soon to be wife at the time left with out any reason or anything just left didnt even say goodbye she was like my mom she was always there for me when i needed her not as much as my grandma but still. so people started telling me "oh everyone you love is just ganna leave you, you dont deserve to be loved" and i believed it myself deep down but i still believed it. so once that video that said that gingers dont have souls i was getting harassed and called ginger every where i go. But what i didnt understand tho is that i have freckles thats it i didnt have the orange haire but still telling a nother human being that they dont have a soul is just plain horrible. so while that was still going on it was time for me to start high school and away from being a weird so called "satan worshiper" (because of my choice in music) and also a good for nothing mess up it was going fine. yea rite who am i kidding it was getting worse all my teachers though i was just a fuck up and i couldnt pass there class because i wasnt getting the right attention at home. Well they should have known that my dad and grandpa worked late and my grandma who was practically my mom for  12 years was sick and needed a lung transplant so there was no way for me to be helped at home. so about three weeks before school was over in my sophomore year my grandma passed away because her body rejected her new lung and that was the most horrible day of my life because i actually saw it happen and i dont wish that on anyone that is a horrible thing anyone can see and the memory just stays there forever. well i needed time to cope so about two weeks of not going to school i finnaly go back and it started again but this time i burst out crying and everyone starts laughing so i got up and yelled at everyone and said oh yea pick on the guy who just lost his grandmother the most loving person i know i walked to the door and said i hope youre all happy and slammed the door. Next thing i know im getting sent to a continuation school, for kids that are bad i mean cmon our mascot is the rebels. so even tho im a senior in high school i still get bullied and its happening soo much i cant even bare to go to school but my parents just think "oh its just teenagers being teenagers and dont want to do anything so i have a therapist again but i still want my parents to understand whats going on but yea that is my bullying Story. Thanks for reading and letting me share this with people who understand. -steven andree