It was hard, but I'm still here. :)

Hi :) I am Caroline Pileski. Freshman student in the state of Ohio. Two years ago, in my 7th grade year, I was bullied. When I was younger, I always kept to myself and I never really opened up to anyone I knew or anyone I was friends with. I struggled with making friends and dealing with crticism, so I did happen to cry a lot. 7th grade wasn't exactly the best year for me because I was bullied persistently by many people I knew more than people I didn't know. When I would wake up in the mornings for school, I would be so excited to go and learn new things and at least try to make friends. Honestly, I had only two real friends. They were the ones who weren't aftaid to say Hi to me in the halls and get teased for being friends with me. But one day, I went over to my friend's house since she only does live down the street. Her family is extremely Christian but I didn't mind it, as I was Christian myself. So throughout my numerous times of going over to her house, her brother took a sudden interest in my insecurities and happened to notice how reserved or closed off I was. We'd be talking in her room and he'd just barge in and name everything he could think of about me and make fun of it. Wether it was my hair, eyes, clothes, shoes or my glasses. Anything he could think of. His words at first meant nothing to me, since I already thought what he was saying was true. I was already insecure enough but he was just making it worse. But once I actually let his words get through my tough skin, I became more exposed to anyone's words. I became vulnerable. First it was just him making fun of me out of school every now and again. But then it became every day, consistently, during school with ALL of his friends doing it. 


During Lunch, he'd walk by with his friends following close at his heels, food trays in their hands, and they'd take one look at me and pretend to freeze. After the untensed their bodies, they'd laugh like hyenas and never stop and tell everyone around at Lunch, 'Don't look at her, she'll turn you to stone she's so ugly!' then throw food at me. My two seat friends, (people that only talk to me at Lunch) would just tell me to calm down when I cried. How could I when it was an everyday thing, no matter how many times I begged them to stop? The boys never listened. Soon everyone in school kept their distance from me, made fun of me and soon enough, I really had no friends. Going home on the bus was horrid because the main bully was there. I always sat alone or he would sit next to me and tease me, take my things, but my bus driver would never believe that he would tease me. He was apparently 'Such a good kid and he'd never hurt anyone's feelings.' That day, it wasn't only just verbal and mental bullying. It became cyber, social, and physical. He's throw a basketball at my face, a soccer ball, a football, a tennis ball, and I ended up with bruises on my arms, stomach, legs. Never on my face oddly enough. I never stood up for myself and I regret it. My parents never believed me. I became an cutter, depressed and suicidal. I even tried making myself bleed to death but the one thing keeping me alive was my mom and her having Stage 3 breast cancer. She has it worse than I do. More pain than I am in. She'll be in more pain if i left. I couldn't do it in such a brutal way. So i wanted to try pills. But i could never get myself alone. 


Today, I am a independent fighter, liver and person. I still struggle with making friends, getting people to like me and my personal harm issues. But i have real friends now because they let go of caring about their image and spent more time caring about those who are hurting. He doesn't even talk to me anymore but when he does, it's not nice. But i've learned not to care. I became more open but still guarded my heart with a wall of barbed wire. I'm confident and I stand against bullying. Please tell someone before you become who I was. You could save your life or another's if you speak up and stand against bullying. 

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