It Never Ends

Hi. I will tell you my name, but I would rather not do it now.

My bullying story starts in Kindergarten. I was smaller than everyone, but, to be honest, I was way smarter. In reading and math, I had to go to a Third Grade classroom to be challenged. Everyone was really tall and tuff in my eyes, and that was exactly what they wanted me to believe. I was constantly pushed around, and sometimes I would come home from school with most of my hair pulled out, a broken nose, or large bruises splattered over my body.

You would have thought a teacher would have noticed, but they didn't give a crap about what the older kids did.

When I reached Third Grade, I was already in Middle School classes. I was in a new school with a great best friend. Sadly, she was the only friend I had. On my first day of Third Grade at a new school, I met one of my Kindergarten bullies. He acted friendly, as if he had never committed those crimes three years ago. I was to naïve to notice that he was just waiting for me to let my guard down.

One day at recess, he walked up to me. "Hello, _____." He says, smiling. (The blank is for my name, I want to be anonymous.) I smile back, and greet him. Suddenly, he smacks me across the face, and I end up on the ground. Thankfully, the teachers at my new school wanted to help me, so they ran over to me. The boy was expelled for three months, and I was sent home with a concussion and a bloody nose.

In Fifth grade, I thought everything was going to be better. I wasn't bullied much in Fourth grade, so I figured that this was going to be the single year in my life where I wouldn't be picked on. Schooling was going almost too well for me; I had classes at a local Middle School for Eighth grade math, and next year I was heading to High School. Everything seemed wonderful.

Until I stepped into the classroom.

I had made two more friends, both who would stand up for me in an instant, but I didn't want them to be involved. I told them to find a seat for us, and that I would be over in a few minutes.

I remember standing there, watching this kid. It was my bully, the one who had tormented me my whole life. He had found me again.

"Hello, what's your name?" I had asked sweetly. The kid rolled his eyes and stated his name as if I had never known. Only then did he notice who I was.

"Oh, it's _____!" He had shouted. The entire class had turned to look at us. He pulled me into a forceful hug and left me gasping for air. "Oh, you're exactly as I remember you!" He pinched my cheek harshly and slapped me on the back.

Now the class was laughing. My teacher took this as a friendly greeting, and asked "Do you two know each other?"

I was about to say that he was just messing around, waiting for everyone to think that we were best of friends. But he answered first. "Yeah, we're cousins!" He elbowed me hard in the side. "Right, cuz?"

When everyone had assumed we were actually related, he started to do some damage. Pushing me off the monkey bars (it hurts more than your think), pinching me, saying ridiculous lies, and eventually hitting me and punching me. Every day I would come home with a bloody something, and once he had even broken my arm.

This went on and one through Sixth grade and Seventh grade. It's now the Summer, and I am nervously waiting for Eighth grade. Will he be there? If so, can I somehow avoid him?

My life is horrible, and even now he is bullying me through the Internet. Posting random things about me, telling even more lies, hurting me mentally. I don't want my life to turn into something like Amanda Todd's, but who knows? When I mentioned her story at school, he had overheard.

Now, he's making my life like hers. I have been beaten up by him and his gangs, and they threaten me that if I tell anyone, they will post more embarrassing things. He even went on Images and found nude girl pictures and claimed they were mine.

I don't know what to do anymore. I suffer from Depression, Anxiety, and several other things I can't pronounce. I have four councilors, my parents are trying to help (but it only makes it worse), and I haven't even told most people about it, blaming everything he does to me on myself. I have been hospitalized at least six times for suicidal failures.

My last hope was that maybe someone here could help. I really feel hopeless, lonely, and dead. I'm only 14, and everyone says there is more that I have to do with my life. What if I go into High School and  meet even more bullies? I can't go out anymore, I cut in secret, and do many other self-harm things. It's better to hurt myself then hurt someone else, right? Right.

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