My name is Heather. Currently I'm 22 years old and this is my story. I was always overweight as a child and even today. I was never a skinny size two girl. In elementary school I was bullied and teased but those days it was brushed off as kids being kids. Once middle school started I had a hard time. I went to a private Christian school and well needless to say it became my own personal hell. I was tormented daily by my peers. Made fun of for the clothes I wore, my weight and even a mole I had at the time. Slowly but surely the harsh words got to me. By my freshmen year in high school I was no longer this friendly happy girl I used to be. Instead in my place stood a girl who had no hopes left. A girl who daily felt death would be easier than another day of pure torture. Self harm has been something I felt with for years. I started cutting my freshmen year due to the torment I received. It started off simple enough, one small cut to ease the emotional pain. Within a month my arms were covered in fresh cuts and healing scars. I wore long sleeves and sweaters to hide the truth, even in the summer heat. It became an addiction. Proving to myself and those who mentally abused me that their words meant nothing. The only person who could cause me pain, was ME! "I found your razor blade in math class" "I have extra razor blades if you need one" these comments swirled around the halls as I passed through them. Word had gotten out about my dark secret as still, no one cared. In fact it seemed to fuel those people even more than before. I was alone, scared and completely helpless. I begged the staff to help me, do something, anything. But no help came. After freshmen year I moved to a small hick town where everyone knew everyone. So I stood out like a sore thumb. I struggled even here to fit in but finally for the first time in years I wasn't the punch line of every joke. Yes, I was still made fun of and yes still struggled with cutting. But today I'm proud to say I survived. I no longer self harm and the urge that used to take me over is gone for good. When I left my old private school I told my few friends that I held dear "I wouldn't be surprised if someone offs themselves because of the assholes who roam this campus" sadly it wasn't but two years later a freshmen with so much life ahead of him hung himself. I didn't know the boy but I wish I did. I wish I could of told him to hold on, hang in there cause life gets better. No matter how hopeless or alone you feel remember, life goes on. Life gets better. High school, middle school doesn't last forever. It's a few years that in the end will make all of you stronger people inside and out. Someone loves you and cares, even if I don't know you, or know your story I still care. I was once desperate for the angel of death to give me her sweet soft kiss but now I look at each day as another blessing. You are special, you are one of a kind and you are here on this earth for a reason. Don't give up, don't give in. Take a second, breathe and remember; It Gets Better.
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