I Survived

When I was a little girl, I didn't worry about how I looked or what I wore to school each day. All I worried about was having fun and being a kid. Between Pre-K and 2nd grade, I was not bullied. In fact, in those grades I could have been considered friends with just about everyone. Everything changed for me when I was in 3rd grade, though. It all went downhill from then on. For that year, I spent it with my father who lived in Missouri. During that year, I started gaining weight noticeably, but I wasn't outright fat. The main indecent of bullying I had experienced in 3rd grade, was probably on my way home from school one day. I had 2 best friends and we rode our bikes every day to and from school. On one particular day, we left with a group of kids, about 5-8 kids total. I had decided to take a 'shortcut' and wait for them by myself. Little did I know, however, was that I had about 4 kids waiting for me to do so. When I got to the end of the street to wait, they ambushed me. One boy blocked me from peddling off, and the other 3 - 2 girls and 1 boy- said some.. unpleasant things to me. They began beating me with their backpacks after that. I started crying as hard as I probably could, and they continued taunting me. I felt so helpless, because no one was around. This went on for 10 minutes before the group of kids we all left with came to the scene. One of the high schoolers spoke out for me and made them stop. They all comforted me, but I'll never forget how humiliated and defeated I felt. 

4th grade went by smoothly enough and I made wonderful friends. We moved to Oklahoma when I was getting ready for 5th grade, and after that everything changed again. By time 7th grade came around, I couldn't take it anymore, since it was the lowest point in my life. Today, I am ashamed to admit that I almost took my life in 7th grade. Not a day went by back then that I didn't feel like committing suicide to end it all. I am ashamed to say I wrote a suicide note, ashamed to live with that as a fact. I managed overcoming it though. Once 8th grade came by, things got easier. I wasn't as down as I was the year previous and I wasn't as bullied either, though it was still existent. 9th grade was also nice, but it wasn't a walk in the park either. Ever since 6th grade, I have been bullied for being over weight. Constantly mocked, laughed at, and teased. It isn't entirely my fault for being this way though. I was diagnosed with a thyroid problem two years ago. I have been made fun of, for something I cannot even control, because no one would understand. No one has ever understood. When my 10th grade year started, I decided I was going to save myself from another year of Hell and mental distress. I asked my mom to put me through online schooling. In a way, I was giving up, yes. In my eyes though, I am winning, because I am much happier than I was all those years of being the victim. I'm no longer continuously snickered at and teased for being over weight, nor am I talked about behind my back or to my face about being different for not dressing like other people and having lip piercings. I no longer have to go to public school every single day, fearing getting bullied by those who weren't willing to understand me. I still and always will have my friends, and they have helped me through these past 6 years, overcoming the hardships I face. No matter what anyone says to me, I have not given up. I have simply survived.

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