I'm A Fighter: My Story

My Name Is V , for the past 3 years I have been getting bullied. It happened in 6th grade when I first came, and I guess I thought I would make some friends, and I did. I ended up becoming friends with a really nice girl named Emily H, and I thought our friendship would remain. I was wrong. One night she decided it would be funny I guess if she played a prank on me and pretended to be the boy I liked, well she did. She told me things such as "Oh Emily is so much prettier than you. Yeah I'm thinking of asking her out." and it made me cry. Some of the things they said were really rude, that night my mom came into my room at 11:00 at night and found me bawling out crying on the floor. I was in 6th grade and had no clue that was her and another friend. At first I thought it was him because the changing of the voice seemed different. My mom told the school and I WAS THE ONE TO GET IN TROUBLE. ME. For doing nothing really. Her dad was the head chairman at the school so of course she wasn't going to get in trouble for anything. I WAS FORCED TO MOVE NEW CLASSES AND COULDN'T SIT WITH HER AT LUNCH ANYMORE. ME. forced to move classes for doing nothing. My old class I would have had friends, but no after being moved I was shunned even more, shy and hurt I couldn't talk, I was too shy. Over 6th grade my whole life in 6th I was alone and it always brought tears to my eyes. When the girls in the locker room saw me crying, they would laugh and move away and laugh even more. They didn't care. I tried standing up to Emily one day and she got everyone against me. Her friends hated me too, and they told me to go kill myself and leave the school. Everyday class was horrible for me, everyday in 6th grade it was horrible. I was tortured and hurt, no one cared…No one was there for me. I made a group of friends towards the end of the year, but everything's changed and again I'm the outcast. Hurt, alone, in a world of wanting to just get away.

Moving onto 7th Grade

I was going into 7th grade and everything seemed awesome. I had a group of friends and I thought it would be awesome. It wasn't. New girls came and they bullied me constantly. Their not popular level went up to extremely popular and they decided to be rude and hurtful to me. I just wanted to be their friend and they shunned me and harassed me by talking behind my back. They said things to others to make me seem like such a horrible person. I than got my first boyfriend and I thought it would be awesome. It wasn't. I was constantly watched and my space was invaded. I dumped him. I met my second boyfriend and things went worse, he didn't stick around for 1 day and he told me what a horrible person I was. Of course I ignored because at my school I've been taught a lesson by everyone. Talk when people talk to you first. If you talk first no one cares, and no one wants to listen. Unless you're in the popular crowd of course. 7th grade moved onto everyone hating me and my group starting to shun me. Well of course in my group was one girl from 6th grade who used to sit with Emily named Alex and Alex too was bullied by Emily and kicked away from the table, and she was sitting at the table with us and started to claim everyone over. By the end of the year, a new girl named Julia Bell had won Alex over and she had taken my one and only friend away. The one I trusted with EVERYTHING, and Alex went around and spilled my secrets out. Getting more popularity than ever. Seventh grade ended me in tears.

Moving to 8th Grade

I thought, I really thought things would change. Again they didn't. Not only did not everyone just hate me, but the pain got worse. In 8th grade things did seem to change, people kind of started to like me, I wasn't really ignored but I wasn't the most popular girl either. I knew that. Of course people started more false things about me and said things such as she's Bi or she did this and this and she shouldn't be alive for it. I was too hurt to speak after that. I thought It was going to get better. I dated my 2 exs again and got dumped numerous times. Some of the new girls left, some stayed and some hurt me far worse than ever. I decided to let it go. The end of eighth grade left me in tears and I decided to just think about 9th grade.

Moving On Now To 9th Grade

IT'S NOT GOING WELL. NOT ONE BIT. In fact if I said what I've done to myself, I don't think god would forgive me, I have been just burned inside and hurt with a permanent scar and my mom says everything that ever happened to me wasn't bullying. It never was bullying and she told me I always over react, but how would my story be overreacting how? I don't understand. I've been through the stage of being called names, harassed, but this year this was the last thing I could handle. I called a girl a bad name, not out of rudeness or anything, but she had stolen $40 from me when I left it at her house and had spent it. She kept it as her own and I kept bugging her week after week to give it back, finally I called her the B word and she blew up at me. First off her mom can't say she never started anything when she did. She stole $40 from me, she started and stirred something up. Well, after telling her she could be arrested for stealing money from someone, not forcefully but for stealing and not giving back, she told everyone at the table about me. She said in a letter this to me…"Want to know why I'm not talking to you? Because I hate you. Everyone does. You should learn it! Oh…Wait…You already knew that! No one likes you Victoria and they never did. Everyone's always hated you, why do you think everyone including myself ignores you? Because you're unwanted and also here's some other things terrible about you, you're a terrible person, not only for ruining one of my best friends relationships with her boyfriends in 7th grade, but for making up a lie about her. Yeah you deserve hate, and you know what else you deserve, you deserve the loss of everything. You weren't born in Russia btw, I did a study about that, and I know they have no Foster Homes in Russia. You're stupid too, you know all that hate you get from everyone? GOOD! You deserve it! You should go and slit your throat and do the world a huge favor and die. No one even likes you. You look like a 70 year old hooker with your makeup on, and you look like a horse. Honestly. I'm 20x prettier than you and everyone knows and believes it. You think you're so good and stuff, hey take off your hooker makeup for once and go natural stupid B. If you could get run over by a bus, it'd do the world a better favor. Why are you still around? No one likes you!" I took everything to heart. I cried tears and I hurt myself too, I tried to get it out of my head. My mom got involved and she dealed with it over the phone with her mom. She apologized for everything, she never meant it though because the harassment still happens to me. I WAS KICKED AWAY FROM MY OWN GROUP OF FRIENDS. My friends I had, had. She took them and everyone away. She ignores me now a days, but she thinks it's funny I'm left alone. She starts up lies about me to make me seem like such a horrible person and I took everything to heart. I almost left this school, and I really should. I hate it. My mom can't find me another one because of my work I have to do and it's so much. Of course, it's not just the hate that gets to me, it's more than that. It's the fact my mom says what ever happens to me isn't bullying. It has to be physical to count. Verbal bullying she says doesn't count either. I really wish I knew what to do, I have no one to talk to anymore about this. I met 2 new friends Jay and Griffin but I'm bound to be expelled for skipping lunch with them and forming a study group where we study instead of eat lunch in the Cafeteria and you're supposed to be down in the Cafeteria. I should face my fears, but than again I ALWAYS sit alone. I've tried to sit with others, but I'm often kicked away from the table and no one cares. In 6th grade I made friends, kicked away because of their "boyfriends" I never forgave them after that day. Ever.

I really do have the feeling I was unwanted in every sense of mind. It's not just 6-8, it was 2-5 it happened too. I was always the ugly duckling and always the unwanted one. ALWAYS. People ignored me. I usually would go cry in a tunnel at the school and I never really did ever have any friends who cared for me. I was always the outcast of every group and still am. My new group, if I don't leave I'm bound to be expelled for skipping lunch. I strive to keep up good grades. Lately my stress with everything keeps me at almost a C in Algebra and I'm not doing well like I was last year, all the stress bothers me and if I could start my life over, I would. I would start talking, but It will never get better. People say it does. I've suffered my entire childhood-middle-high school now not happy. High school Juniours said it gets better. Well what do they know about 2-5 grade being ignored and shunned. The only grades I ever managed to be happy in was Pre K and - Kintergarden. 1-2 I was just starting to feel pain. 3-4 I understood and knew I was unwanted. 5-6 the new school destroyed me. 7-8 I finally let pain get to me. 9…Everything's crashing and burning. I hope I can switch schools. I hope it gets better. I never tell anyone my story because if they knew everything I've been through, how many tears were shed, how many names I was called, how much people told me to go die…I guess…they wouldn't care. Because that's right. Every bully speech a school has NO ONE LISTENS. No one. Except the kids that actually care and bullying never stops…I wish it did though. Than people would start to see how much people can be affected and hurt by it. Like me and others are and constantly may be through middle school and the rest of high school. I'm a fighter though and will keep fighting through this stress, even if I crash and end up burning I'll continue to fight. I'm trying to stay strong


But. Let me say something. It will get better. It will. I met Jay and Griffin. Yes. I may get in trouble. But if you only need 2 people in your life. Than so be it. It will get better. It will. I think I've found my light and when I'm with Jay I'm the happiest person ever. I'm fighting and won't stop fighting. This is life and all you got to do it fight through it. It will get better. It will. For me it is. I hope. Next year I'm leaving this school. I know I'll be happier. I can feel it in my bones and I'm a fighter. I haven't given up yet. I haven't. I fell through the cracks. But I picked myself up. So stay strong. All you need is love and with 2 people that's maybe all you need to keep you happy. Even if their not the best people, given them a chance. You may just meet a new best friend like I have. YOU MUST BE A FIGHTER AND NOT GIVE UP <3.

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