I've started getting bullied in 6th grade. There was this boy that I liked and I told him . He started ignoring and insulting me at every chance he got. Soon almost everyone in my class followed. They still do it. They call me ugly, fat, useless, stupid and they tell me to kill myself because that's what everybody wants. At first I didn't care because I was young but then it started getting to me. In 8th grade I started cutting myself. The first time I did it because I had a really bad day at school and we were fighting at home. I read so many things about self harm, how it helped people. I never thought I'd be someone who cuts, but there I was with a razor in my hand, gliding it over my wrist. That's also the year I started listening to bands like All Time Low, Pierce The Veil, Sleeping With Sirens, You Me At Six, Bring Me The Horizon, Of Mice And Men, Mayday Parade etc. My favorite band is All Time Low, because they saved my life. Their song Therapy perfectly describes what I'm going through, I love their music and I love them as people. Now I'm in 9th grade and one of my "friends" saw my cuts and she told the teacher. I was told that I had to go see the school psychologist. She asked me how I was feeling and told me that she wants to have a talk with my mum. So that day I told my mum everything. About the self harm, bullying, how I hate myself and that I have suicidal thoughts basically everyday, how I'm never happy and fake smiles just to please everyone. In about a week I had to go see a doctor who told me I had depression and anxiety, which was the reason for my panic attacks. On Tuesday, in three days I have my first therapy session in a hospital. I'm really scared but I'm hoping this will help. I really hope it does get better like everyone says, though I doubt it.
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