I never really felt connected to my peers. As they were playing kickball and tag during recess, I watched on the side. As they were going to parties and dances, I was at home. When they went to fix their makeup during lunch, I went to the library to do my homework. This gave me a lot of time to think: What is friendship? How do you make friends? Why am I not connecting with my peers? I realized while kids were teasing each other, making up lies and creating drama within their own cliques, I didn't want to be part of that. Since a majority of my peers enjoyed gossiping and dominating over each other, I couldn't connect with them because I refused to be like them. This resulted in my loneliness. I didn't have many good friends. The few I had were like me in secret, but hid it to be "cool" or "popular." Over the years, I realized I'd rather be alone doing the right thing, than joining in on something that was wrong. At first, feeling lonely made me feel weak and awkward. I became depressed, even wanted to die from not feeling needed or liked. I didn't kill myself because I didn't want to hurt my family, who worked so hard to raise me and make me happy. I decided that if I wanted to die, I'd die doing something that'd put me to use- such as saving a little old lady crossing a street from a car. This led me to want to help others, especially those who felt lonely, depressed, and/or bullied. I didn't want any more people feeling the way I had or worse. Now, I'm not waiting for the moment I can help someone for me to die. I'm going to live my life, and see what I can accomplish. I'm going to prove to others what I am made of. I have devoted myself to helping others however I can whether they are bullied, lonely, ill, suffering academically; whatever their sexual orientation, whatever race, whatever financial situation. As well as I can, I want to help.
By writing some words below, you are showing your support and letting everyone know they're not alone.