I grew up in a close-knit neighborhood in a small town filled with broken dreams. Everyone knew everyone & if you were new in town your story was sure to be spilled within 24-hours. I was a skinny seven year old with hair to my butt and enough freckles for every child in my school. Throughout Elementary school I was always the bully, I felt like I had to be on top to be noticed or no one would like me anymore. Three years had passed and at a very early age I learned what suicide meant and when my sisters boyfriend, "went away for awhile" it didn't take long for me to realize he wasn't coming home and in the Summer of 2008 I grew up faster then any ten year old child should. At the beginning of fifth grade I became isolated from my friends and family and soon I didn't enjoy anyone's company. I was stubborn, I got in many fights, and had I turned into a child every parent would consider a nightmare. Sixth grade is when things took a turn, I wasn't the bully anymore I was now the bullied. Nothing every hit me more then the day I was put through what I had been putting others through for years. I was now the "emo" kid. I was ugly, to tall, my hair was to short (I had gotten it cut right above my shoulders) & kids started calling me, "Chey the guy" I had very few friends due to the fact I had recently moved & I thought things would be different. But I was wrong. 7th & 8th grade were no different for me. I had only lost more friends in the process of trying to find who I really was. I stopped eating and began self-harming. Kids treated me like I was a freak, or a monster. I couldn't blame them because I was only receiving what I had been "dishing out" for most of my childhood. I felt like I deserved what was being said and done to me. Kids pushed me against lockers , "book checked" me, called me names and tripped me whenever I walked by. At the beginning of 9th grade I had finally had enough. After a Summer spent alone and dozens of hate messages and phone calls I could take it anymore. I decided that enough was enough and I was giving up. I wrote my parents a letter almost as long as a book telling them how much I loved them and that it wasn't there fault. That I hoped they wouldn't blame themselves. At I had set out to do what I thought would be the best for everyone. To this day I am glad that I failed. Because I wouldn't be here now to tell my story. To tell you all the good part. Things turned around in 10th grade. Over the Summer I had finally gained the courage to tell people all the things that I had went through over the past five years. I had made a list and apologized to every single person I had done wrong as a child. I got my life together and I haven't quite found who I truly am yet. But I believe I am on the right path. I moved again in 10th grade and a new slate was the best thing that ever happened to me. No one knows me or my past. Today I am still bullied but I've come to realize that just because someone says something to you, doesn't mean you have to listen. I want every person out there that is bullied today to know that they are loved and they a very special people. You are all important. You will all make someone proud one day. You make me proud right now. Keep fighting. <3 Your heart beats for a reason. You're alive for a purpose. Never give up. <3
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