Feeling Alone

Hi ..

My name is Cortlynn Odle. I'm 15, freshman in highschool. I am a older sister of two brothers, heres my story.

I have a hormonal imbalance and had a rough home life. I moved schools a couple times and always had a dream to be a prom queen, or the popular kid. I always did the best to fit in, straightened my curly hair, piled on make up. My problems had started just as soon as i got in 6th grade. Over stuff that seems so petty now.. I got bullied by a girl who was the girl i wished i was, she called me fat, ugly, all the usual names. Ive been raised to be strong and above the hate and just move on, this girl constantly on my case beating me down, then my family problems.. I cut an 'X' into my hip. It stood for what they were doing to me. A girl spread a rumor i was emo, and my parents reacted by screaming at me. Over the internet, i was fustrated. I always felt like someone had something wrong with me. 

The next year was less rough as it seemed. I gained an attitude, i could of even been labeled a bully. I thought it was because i had just learned to become stronger after last year. That wasn't an excuse. The next year i was forced to leave my only true friends, i was scared. Ive never really liked going to a new school. Im always shy and scared ill get lost or picked on. So my 8th grade year .. Was horrible. I was the school whore and slut. I was hurt and betrayed by the friends i thought i had there. i turned to a guy and ended up in him taking the one thing about me i thought i was secure about. After he left me i broke down. The next day everyone knew. Nobody talked to me. I actually heard my name being whispered. We had a school trip and the night i cried and cried and cried. I wanted to roll over and die, i didn't want to go on a trip with those demonic kids. I walked on the bus and sat with the only person i felt like i had left. I was silent. Nobody but her talked to be, the entire trip.. i was a slut, whore , cunt, bitch, sloppy. Everything you can think of i was called all within a week. Once i returned from my trip , i attempted to take my life up to 3 times. I tried smothering myself, hanging myself, and drowning. 

My parents figured out how depressed i was from a cut in the word of strength on my ancle. A long dragging night of arguing and crying, the police had showed up and i was sent to the hospital for suicide watch. That next morning after a long night i was sent to a psych ward for evaluations and to help me. 

All i can say .. is bullying wont go away unless we do something. The girl who bullied me in sixth grade still bullies me, and im in highschool! I am thrilled i found the documentary and this website. I will be sharing it with my school, and spread the world. We've Already lost a dear sister and friend to our town, Tori Nakol Swoape due to bullying. Stand up and speak out. This has to end.

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