Everyday before college~

   Ello, my name is Jessie Dorsey, and I was bullied in 5th grade through high school. Before I tell you how I was bullied I need to tell you that I was one. Before 5th grade. I thought it was okay, picking on people I didn't quite like. But it wasn't, it never was. I hurt people, and only after growing up and becoming more mature did I not only remember what I did, but I apologized, hoping they'd forgive me. I remember this one girl I bullied for looking like a guy, but I think it's only because I liked her. Unfortunately, I never got to say sorry. I forgot her name, and still till this day I'm trying to remember. One day I will. This summer in fact. But moving on, after being a bully, I was bullied. First, by 5 guys, in 5th grade. Not physically, but verbally. There was lot's of hatred towards me, and due to all that hatred, I acted out. I became a rebel through 5th grade and middle school, and my reputation as a person became invisible. Everyone seemed to hate me. Called me names, said no one liked me, that I had no friends. Most of the things they said were true. It wasn't until high school that it all kind of stopped. Instead of being bullied directly.. I was ignored and became an outcast. No one wanted to be around me, I tried to fit in with others.. silently easing my way into a group of people who later on accepted me. But it became people who knew me, rather than people who were my friends. Most people only seemed to know me because of how popular my brothers were. Out of hundreds of students, I could not call one a true friend. So I was invisible. So invisible in fact that I accepted my invisibility and wore sun-shades indoors. Everywhere actually to hide the emotion. Because it's easy to smile, but you cannot lie with your eyes. I hated people, everyone. I hated life. But it wasn't extreme like most bullying usually is. I wasn't punched or kicked or thrown into lockers. No, I got off easy. And it wasn't until I started to show what I could do musically, that I began to get noticed. I learned many things because of people's hatred towards me. But one true thing I've learned, is that you always have a choice. My choice, to forgive them. All of them. Ignore them, move past, but I was only able to do that because of a very horrible moment in my life that I'd rather not talk about. Hatred now, does not exist in my life. And it wasn't the horrible moment that got me out of it entirely, but music as well. I performed a song of how it was being an outcast in high school at my last talent show. Senior Acoustic Night it was called, and I plan on uploading this song to YouTube soon.

Anyway, I've never truly witnessed bullying happening to someone else. But if I ever did, I'd stop it immediately. My experience with bullying wasn't as drastic as most experiences are, but even so.. it should never have to be experienced.

My advice:

Forgive those who bully you.

Be brave and stand up for yourself when no one else will.

Find a positive release. Music for instance or writing.

Video games are lovely xD

Just.. continue and always be yourself, and don't let anyone define who you are, because you are you, and no one can ever change that. Don't let them. :)

 

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