Different Doesn't Mean Unacceptable.

Yeah. I'm different. I have a different taste in music than everyone, a different style in clothing than everyone, and pretty much a different personality than everyone. People in my class, school, or even some people I know outside of school tease me for not being like them. Who cares if I wear black/dark clothing a lot. Who cares if I listen to punk bands instead of those more popular singers and artists out there. Sometimes on my free time I like to draw, do sketches, write in my journal, or sit in a corner and listen to music. Everyone stares at me like I'm insane and I don't have a life. It's hard for me to socialize with people because I get scared knowing that they might hate me or think of me differently. Every morning when I walk to school I put on my hood so no one would notice me. Whenever I'm in a crowd of people, I'm always the one "standing out," but not in a good way. I'm the only one who's "weird." All I want is equality and acceptance. I admit that I have no friends. Maybe I do, 1-3 friends, but they only come to me or talk to me when they have nothing else to do. It's like I'm their last choice. I guess they're not real friends, they just want to make me not feel left out. I do appreciate that but being fake isn't going to make me feel any better. I wish I could stand up to all of those people and tell them they have to accept me for who I am even if I'm different. But the thing is, if I stand up for myself, I'll be ignored. No one would listen. I need people to support me with this but I can't find anyone else who is "different" like me. I ended up in this website when my school showed the documentary "BULLY" during 8th grade assembly. So far we've finished 3/4 of the movie. After each assembly when we watch this movie, no one says anything or reacts in any way. I'm pretty much the only one feeling any emotion towards this film. After all the classes left the auditorium, so many people started laughing and giggling. I heard some of them say, "that movie is so dumb, like no one bullies anyone!" I just wanted to cry when I heard that. They may not know that their side-comments, laughing, staring, and ignoring is a form of bullying. To them, bullying is a physical thing. It's not always a physical thing. No. After hearing those words outside of the auditorium, I felt really upset. Little did I know my inner-emotions started appearing on my face. I probably shed a tear. People were staring at me as I was walking to class. Staring. Laughing. I ended up running to class, being the first one there. That was probably not the best idea. I sat at my desk which is the one right next to the door. As all my classmates walked in, they looked at me. Every single one. All I saw were eyes. Eyes that didn't look like they were looking at a good thing. I want to stay in school. I want to get a good education and pursue my dreams. I want to get into a good college. But sometimes I feel like I shouldn't go to school. Sometimes I feel it would be good for me so I wouldn't get bullied and it would be good for the other students so they wouldn't need to see me. I know I shouldn't give up like that but the feeling of giving up creeps up every time. Many people described me a depressed, emo, a low-life, a loser, an outcast, and other harsh words that whenever I type or think about them, I can hear all the kids saying those words in my head. I need someone to help me. Someone. Just one person would do. 

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