My name is Anna i am 14 years old and i was bullied in elementary school. People on my bus, mostly older guys, would make fun of me because i wear big glasses that make my eyes look bigger and that i weighed about 50 to 70 pounds from 3rd grade to 6th grade. They would call me "bug eyes" or "fore eyes" Then some girls would tell me I'm too skinny and that i should stop starving myself or i look like a twig, a feather, or a leaf but, none of it was my fault. I had a very high perscription for my eyes and I'm never hungry because i can't digest food as fast as other people. Soon i started to believe them and each day they bullied me, i would cry myself to sleep and i would ask myself, "Why can't i be normal like them? Why did i have to be born this way?" Later i went to my mom for help and she told me that the people who bully me are probably jealous and they obviously have nothing better to talk about so i must be more important than anything to them if they want to waste their time being mean to me.
Then i started 8th grade and i had so many friends because i listened to my mom when she told me to kill my enemies with kindness and to laugh when they're mean. So many of my past bullies are my friends now. I didn't notice until my step-dad pointed it out but, i became a bully. Sometimes i would catch myself saying mean things about people i don't like or maybe my own friends. One girl that i treat like a friend, i actually really don't like. Then i found myself telling my bff not to tell her anymore secrets because she told everyone that she had a crush on someone and she even told my bff's crush about it. I thought i was protecting my bff but soon my whole group of friends turned on her and now none of us really hang out with her anymore. I never meant for this to happen but it did and i really wish i could say sorry but now she's really mean and she's getting bad grades. When we were her friend, she was an honor roll student and now she has 2.7 and lower. I even heard a teacher ask her why this was happening. Then she started skipping class and my bff said she wasn't surprised. I caught myself saying that i wasn't surprised either that she's a terrible student and ex-friend. I hated myself because i also started calling people "nerds" and "fat kids". But i really like that now people like that I'm skinny and they think my big eyes are beautiful. I don't like what i have become i wish so bad that i could turn back the clock and make sure i don't become popular for the wrong reason. i want to be popular because people like me for me and not the mean comments and ugly names i call people. i want to change but its really hard. I need advice on how to fix all that i do.
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