This is a blog entry I wrote while watching the documentary.

I am watching the “Bully” documentary. The boy featured at the beginning was not much younger than me. It got me thinking about my younger days when I was bullied. I was picked on for various things. While I was never told to kill myself or that I didn’t matter, I did feel that way.

I can’t remember my age, but I remember being in Junior High and crying myself to sleep, saying that I could disappear and no one would care. Hearing the stories and knowing I wasn’t alone makes me want to go out and tell my story. I am glad I didn’t take my like during the many times I was down.

I tell people that I was the reject of the reject. It really did feel like that. I was hanging around a group of guys that sat at their own table during lunch. There was a guys table, a girls table, and then our table. The teachers didn’t tell us where to sit. It just happened. Every once in a while the guys I sat with would pick on me a little too much and I felt like I had to sit elsewhere.

When high school came around, I had the choice of where to go. I chose a boarding school because my brother graduated there and because I knew it was going to be a fresh start. I went in with my head held high because I was going to meet new people and start over. As time went on, it all came back. While I did have a good of friends that to this day I call my brothers, it was still tough. During the time at the boarding school I found my calling. I found out that there are people there that need someone to guide them. Someone to listen to their story and tell them that they matter. I started to get myself together and got myself out of wanting to kill myself.

If there is anyone that is out there that needs someone to hear their story, I am hear. I have gone through self-diagnosed depression many times, but I’ve been working on staying out. It will always be an uphill battle, but it does get better. My previous entries explain more about my past. I am always willing to tell my story to whoever wants to hear it.

I got out. I know I need to show those who are bullied that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I want to show them how to cope with it, without turning to anger or depression.