Hi.. so when you read this i don't expect you to understand this, but, i need you to see how much bullying had affected me. I've been bullied since primary school, but it got to its peak when i was in secondary school. It started up when my mum and dad split up. Around now, i was 12/13, and thought i would go onto social media networks and ask for advice. (yes i know, sooo stupid). But i got some really good advice, but i also got messages. One of them has been with me since its been said. 'go die in a hole, no one will care, and it will make life easier for the people around you. This killed me. I believed him, (i thought my parents splitting up was my fault, even though they told me it wasnt). I started cutting. My mum had a 'friend' out in france, who she would stay with every other 3 Months. After a while, i was happy because mum was happy, i stopped cutting at this point and moved on. One day, i get the news that mums in hospital. He said she fell down the stairs. Bullshit. You beat her. She tried taking her life. You messed her up. It took a while for her horrible depression to clear up, and i tried my very hardest to be on point. (i didnt behave perfectly). After a while mum met a new guy, and everything's going amazing, he treats her well and if he doesn't, he will sure hear from me. (I'm kinda protective over her). but before mum got together with the guy she's with now, i got messages after messages after messages. Someone gave out my username for this messenger. I started cutting again and these messages were vile. Ill give you one of them, and it said, ' maybe depression is a good place for you, you're clearly messed up in the head, no guy would ever look at you twice you fat piece of shit i hope you rot in hell'. And many more. I was cutting often and i had some dark thoughts. Whenever i saw a tree all i could think was, i could hang myself on there. When i look back, i realise how stupid i was for letting those bullies walk all over me. I didn't want to share the whole story, as i dont want to remember those times any more as im ashamed of it. what i want you all to know is that, know your power with the block button, or delete button. It will help. And no matter what they say, its not true, it never will be, your worth way more. Yeah your gonna disagree, but its true, and it takes time to realise. I know it doesnt seem much, but its true. Never add strangers or people you dont like. And dont go to cutting. I regret the first time still, and im waiting for the last time to come. Please remember that your worth way more, than the words which are thrown at you. Im 15 now, and yes, i still cut, but not as much, i have a new way in helping me stop and its slowly helping. So please remember to NEVER EVER listen to them.
By writing some words below, you are showing your support and letting everyone know they're not alone.
Do you like this post?