Bullied then Bully

It started with primary school. I was undergoing a dramatic family change, which heavily effected my school life, resulting in emotional breakdowns and other trauma. 

I was bullied because I showed my feelings.

But I grew, and became bigger and stronger. That resulted in me finally being bigger than the bullies. I became a bully.

It was only in my later school years that I let it all go - changed my habits and embraced people for who they were. 

At university one day, I came across a schoolmate in class, so I sat with him and talked. After a few days, he said "You were my worst fear in high school". I felt horrible. I apologised profusely and tried to explain - knowing that it would never be enough. But I felt like I had to give him some definition - some background. He then said that he spoke up because our conversations over the past few days of uni had made him question his stance on me. 

I do not condone bullying at all - I hate it. But I was the victim and instigator. I never went to the extreme - mostly teasing when I was the 'bully'. But that doesn't excuse it.

I feel that 'the bully project' message needs to be spread wide and far - and all kids need to understand the psychology behind it all. All adults need to support this message, with their own kids and any kids they are exposed to.


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