It started with primary school. I was undergoing a dramatic family change, which heavily effected my school life, resulting in emotional breakdowns and other trauma.
I was bullied because I showed my feelings.
But I grew, and became bigger and stronger. That resulted in me finally being bigger than the bullies. I became a bully.
It was only in my later school years that I let it all go - changed my habits and embraced people for who they were.
At university one day, I came across a schoolmate in class, so I sat with him and talked. After a few days, he said "You were my worst fear in high school". I felt horrible. I apologised profusely and tried to explain - knowing that it would never be enough. But I felt like I had to give him some definition - some background. He then said that he spoke up because our conversations over the past few days of uni had made him question his stance on me.
I do not condone bullying at all - I hate it. But I was the victim and instigator. I never went to the extreme - mostly teasing when I was the 'bully'. But that doesn't excuse it.
I feel that 'the bully project' message needs to be spread wide and far - and all kids need to understand the psychology behind it all. All adults need to support this message, with their own kids and any kids they are exposed to.
By writing some words below, you are showing your support and letting everyone know they're not alone.