My story starts in 6th grade. When I was 6 years old, my uncle raped me for 7 months, so as I got older, I found comfort in food instead of talking to people about it, which led to me becoming an overweight child. Kids called me "fatty" and "Taylor the hippo" every day. I can remember going to school and spending hours in the nurses office because I was "sick." I never wanted to be in school and no matter how many times I cried to my schools guidance councilor, nothing was done to stop all of the bullying. I was being bullied by students, but also by a teacher... One day, I left my binders on the bench outside in the hallway so I could go to lunch, and when I came back, my stuff was gone! I looked everywhere, in a panic because I didnt want to get in trouble. My history teacher had taken my things and threw them in the stair case so I couldnt find it. Someone finally found my stuff and they grabbed it for me. When I walked into my history class, my teacher said to me, "Where did you find that? You are not allowed in that staircase!" I told her it was my stuff and she didnt have the right to hide it on me, and she told me, "That bench is like my house! How would you like me to come to your house and destroy it? HUH?? Sound good to you?" I ran out crying and I could hear her laughing and calling me weak, but nobody believed me because the kids were too afraid to admit anything.
All throughout middle school, kids told me I wasnt worth the air I was breathing and they told me I was just a fat bitch. I had boys coming up to me everyday asking me out and if I said no, they went and called me a slut, whore, or stupid bitch. If I said yes, they said wow you really are fat and desperate! I would cry myself to sleep every single night and nobody did anything about it. I would have notes in my locker saying how fat I was and asking if they could use my "rolls" for their hot dogs and hamburgers. I hated myself more and more each day. I wanted so badly to die and never return to that school, and I even prayed to god I would be shot walking home or somehow, I would just die. I put on a fake smile every morning and walked into school, just waiting to be bullied, and every time I complained, nothing was done so I stopped telling people...
When it was time to go to high school, I was excited because I figured it was going to be a fresh start, but it was hell... I became depressed and when kids were telling me to kill myself, I considered it.. I also became severely bullied online in high school. People I didnt even know were telling me to give them my mailing address and they would send me the right "tool" to get the job done. They were encouraging me to take my own life and I would be lying if I said I never sat in my room late at night planning the best way out. Kids in high school were even worse than they were in middle school.. I was tripped, slammed into lockers, had things thrown at me, and people would take things out of my locker. I had to start carrying my whole backpack with me everywhere I went.
Now, I am 19 years old and a sophomore in college. I am still severely bullied online and when I am in public, people say things like, "Honey, you would be happier if you were a size 00, dont you think?" or "Where is your wide load sign?" And a couple of weeks ago, I was on my way to college, when I was going 85 miles an hour and I was going to crash my car and end it because I was so sick and tired of people not listening to me. But before I could go off the road, I saw a cop ahead doing radar and I panicked and slowed down. When I realized I was still alive, I felt dead inside and I hated myself for chickening out.
I am not sharing my story to get pitty... Im sharing it because I dont want anybody else to feel alone and helpless like I do. I want to be the one that sticks up for the victims of bullying because we all know someone has to. So if you could take one thing away from my story, its that if you are being bullied, say something and if you see someone else being bullied, speak up!
By writing some words below, you are showing your support and letting everyone know they're not alone.