Since I was born, my family haven't been happy. I'm the second oldest out of four siblings. All girls. Which makes me one of the middle children, who get forgotten about. My older sister told me that my parents were happier before I was born, which was true because they've never smiled when I'm around. I was protected by my uncle until I was three when he died. After that, preschool and school until I was ten consisted of going there early in the cold, being there all day and then going to someone elses house until my parents could be bothered picking me up or the people got sick of having me and dropped me off at home. Usually the front door was locked when I got home and had to climb through the window. My parents fought a lot, usually taking there anger out on me. No one talked to me when I was at home, except to yell at me or hit me. One day my parents gave me a black eye and I had to go to school with it. If anyone asked about it I told them I ran into a pole. I didn't want anyone to know about the abuse. When I was ten, we moved into a bigger house. My parents had a fight later that year which they almost divorced. My dad took it out on me, trying to strangle me and saying it was all my fault and that how everyone wished I was dead etc. I kicked him in the nuts so he'd let go and ran away for the night. I went to school hungry and had no food during the day. I never had friends over because they didn't know what to say and how to act around my parents. I started middle school. Everyone started bullying me saying I was poor and that they would call me before my phone got disconnected and making fun of me because I was underweight, weird, had no friends etc. The principal talked to me in private saying how she was going to make people be my friends because I had none and that the teachers see me crying. I did have friends, they just weren't in my class. I'm not sporty or smart which was another reason people didn't like me. I spent half the time "sick".I had to see a counselor, which I never told her anything. Having nowhere to go after school, I started teaching myself to sing and listened to music. I saved up and brought myself a stereo and cds. My best friend moved to another country. I started emotional eating and got bullied at high school too. My best friend came back a few years after she left and now doesn't talk to me. The bullying was worse at high school. The teachers made fun of me, everyone else made fun of me. At home, my family still yelled at me and abused me. My mom threatened to set fire to my room while I was asleep. I got a boyfriend who stole money from me then left. I got another one who abused me everyday. I was sent to a school I didn't want to go to. I had no friends and skipped school most of the time. I dropped out of school. I got death threats and people wanted to beat me up. They took photos of me getting changed and sent them around the school. I had people laughing at me everywhere I went. They still make fun of me saying things like oh look its fatass and why are you still alive? don't you know everyone wants you dead. My parents said if I was "normal" no one would've bullied me. I have depression, anxiety, panic attacks and possible social anxiety disorder.
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