B.O BOY No More

Every boy going through puberty knows that their armpits starts sweating more than it ever did before. When I was just starting upper school I was being called bible basher because of my dad's profession as a vicar. One day when I was changing in the boys changing room an older boy started picking on me so I decided to fight fire with fire and call him the meanest name I could think of "B.O Boy" sprung to mind, so I called him it. He didn't take it too well, and decided because not many heard me say it, he decides to throw the name back at me LOUDLY. The young guys in my class laughed and the name stuck to me. 

Now I was sweaty, but no more than any boy was. In fact I would wash and spray myself like crazy that it might help. But because all boys smell at that age, so as an escape from being called out on it I became their excuse every time. B.O Boy... I heard the name being said almost every minute of the day, my name seemed to cease to exist. Anytime someone wanted to mention me or point me out I would be called by it. For a long time I became embarrassed to tell anyone. SO it got worse, my chair would be pulled from me, I would be threatened, smacked around, hurtful messages/phone-calls. Many of my friends would be too embarrassed to hang out with me a lot. There was some okay days, and some not so okay. There were a few days where boys would grab me in the locker rooms and spray deodorant in my face (I also had asthma at the time) and some boys would grab my arms an spay them for so long I would have burns and larges bubbles coming from my skin. This is called Lynx Burning and it was by far one of the most painful things I have experienced in my life. 

I became very depressed, and experiencing night terrors often. I also started developing a large lump on the back of my neck due to stress. So I took to cutting myself. Now for people who believe this is attention seeking are very ignorant on the matter. But! let me be honest when you are feeling like you're about to explode from the anxiety, releasing blood from your body feels heavenly. Not that I in any way justify doing it, because there is treatment. I began drawing more frequently, and one thing that I enjoyed doing was drawing the bullies in unflattering ways, but this became known to the bullies and they would rip apart my sketch books. This was a very dark time in my adolescence as it had been years and I was still being bullied. That eventually I started taking attempts on my life, most times becoming too scared and just crying for hours. I began seeing a therapist, and all though things didn't become much better till I finished school, I felt much better about my life and stopped having dark and scary thoughts

I am currently at University studying Cartoon & Comic Arts and in production of a comic to help promote anti-bullying. I'm around so many other comic geeks like me who have been bullied, and my life feels so much better now. 

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