please understand that first I am an adult now . second I do not condone what i did when I was younger. and third I work hard to help others who are being subjugated to bullying.
it started when mom and dad brought my little brother home, i was 4 . i didn't like him . just like most only children who find another on their territory. the next year i started school. kindergarten . there was this kid a few years older than i and he was all the rage of the school, good kid mostly , great grades, popular and i felt it my job to keep him in his place . so i started to undermine him. it was simple i started to stare at him at recess glare i think is the word they used years later when i went back to ask about me in school. then it graduated to yelling and making stuff up about him then eventually all out pushing and shoving . by grade three i was a full out and out bully to anyone who i felt was better stronger smarter popular or just simply had it better than i did . i was a brute. mean nasty , not to mention anger management issues that eventually in my late 20's had to be dealt with . but low and behold things revolve in strange ways to open one's eyes . by the time i hit grade 4 , i was preparing , after a summer of once again tormenting and abusing my brother , and the rest of the kids that got close . to go back to school. yes this is the year my little brother began kindergarten . the day started off a bit different that the usual picking on new kids on the walk to school, see my brother in between my beating him up saying nasty things to him and generally making his world a friggin nightmare had made a friend . Arthur . a little waif like kid who was scared of his own shadow so much so he would pee his pants if you even so much as looked at the poor guy. how my brother and he ever became friends is beyond me .. well they met up on the play ground and it seemed i didn't like this idea and so typical me i started and it wasn't long before poor arthur was peeing his pants and i was having a laugh and pleased with my self ..
that is untill something horrific happened . my baby brother 4 years younger than i ,he was 5 by now , decided that that was the day to say enough and stand up to his big brother right there on the play ground , in front of every one , he yelled so loud and asked me if i was proud of myself , if i was happy now . if it was what i thought he deserved . and he walked right up to me and told me that as his big brother he was ashamed of me . and he turned and walked away taking arthur with him by the arm . they went to the principals office where i learned later that my kid brother had packed a spare shirt pants underwear and socks just incase arthur needed help . he taught me a very big lesson that day . i walked away from school and went and hid . sat in a small bushes area near the school and started thinking .
my mom and dad had tried to get me to understand and stop, the spanked they yelled and they even threatened all sorts of things . but i'll never forget what my little brother did for me that day . he changed my life . i still went to reform school and got into all manner of trouble, but never again was i that silly enough to believe that i was better than someone never again did i ever try to hate like that again. i tried much harder to understand and tolerant and protective and prepared like my brother . were aren't friends , my brother and i , we aren't enemies either . but i remember and i learned and i'll scream my last breath to protect anyone i think is being bullied abused pushed around a victim of hate or intolerance .
i was once told to do to others as i would have them do unto me .
since that day , i have stood up openly proudly and loudly , and continue to do so no matter what .
THANKS LITTLE JOHN (KIDD) i hope one day when we do talk again your no longer ashamed of your big brother
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