Through out my elementary year I was bullied quite often, I normally would laugh it off and not let it bother me until I hit my 8th grade year. I got very sick with anemia and bunch of different viruses that prevented me from going school and that started rumors about me that I died or that I'm skipping school, during those days home alone I started to get depression and hated being by huge crowds of people. When I got better I went back to school yet people still talked bad about me so I started to pretend sick though my parents caught on and every morning id have a battle against them trying to stay home from school because I was so scared to get hurt even more by the people around me. As time went by I started feeling suicidal and leaned into self harm due to all the self hatred I felt about myself, people would call me emo and even over the internet people I never met would tell me how worthless I am and how I should go kill myself because I am a waste of space on this planet. I was put on medication that made me like a zombie, I had no emotion what so ever except the feeling of hate of myself that I wasn't and will never be good enough. Over that long year of hospital stays and therapy I finally was taken off most of that medication and found a great therapist that I go to once a week still to this day. I've been clean of cutting for a little over a year, I still get the thoughts of wanting to and I know I'll be stuck with them rest of my life but I know to never fall into the pressure of myself. I am currently 16 and now doing online school and doing great in all my classes, I have a constant reminder of a tattoo on my wrists saying "Always Believe" which is the motto I go by now and will proudly pass on one person at a time.
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