"Just Kill Yourself Already"

My name is Kylee. I come from a small town in Arizona. I thought I had the greatest life, until I was about 6. My mother brought home a strange man. For over the next few years I was sexually abused by this man. I never told anyone, and so I became depressed and I kept to myself. When I was about 10 or 11 years old I became what most of the world would call "emo". I wore all black (or as much black as I was allowed to wear) I just became even more depressed. I had no friends considering I had just moved to the other side of the country (Ohio). It started here. I was bullied because I would wear the same jacket every day. It felt like a security object. If I took it off I felt vulnerable, like everyone could see my flaws. I was always called mean names, people told me I'm ugly, that I looked like a man, I was weird because I never wore colors, and a lot of other things. Well, then I moved back to my little town in Arizona. I was excited to see all my old friends! Oh wait, I didn't really have any. My best friend from when I was little moved away right as I got back. And then the bullying started all over. One girl especially bullied me every day...

I used to cut myself... because I hated myself. I couldn't stand what I looked like, who I was, and I knew I could never be what I aspired to be. But this girl made my life miserable. Every day it was the same question "what's under your wristbands?" In front of everyone she would ask me this. Then everyone would make fun of me calling me an "emo freak" because I wouldn't show them. They would tell me that if I cut myself, I should just kill myself already. I even tried to. I had no friends to help me pull through because I always kept to myself. No one knew about how I felt. I never did stand up to her. And I regret not doing that. But, I have grown up. My life is much better now. And I just want to tell everyone that there is a "silver lining", things do get better. I promise. There is not a single person who deserves to get bullied. You should not feel obligated to take your own life, ever.

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