6th grade for a lot of people is the start of middle school and meeting new people. I thought going into 6th grade that I would meet all these new people and have a ton of new friends who would love me and invite me to parties. Little did the naïve 11 year old me know that I was going to be bullied so harshly both physically and verbally that I would contemplate suicide and develop a nasty panic disorder. In the locker room before and after gym class there was this really mean/nasty girl who would hit me with her gym lock, her heavy ugg boot, and sometimes with her hands. Also, the girl would say things to me that should have been a red flag that she did not like me. She would say she would pay for me to leave this country, and she said I was a retard because I have ADD and I have very little strength in my hands. But the worst thing she ever said to me was that she was going to bring a gun to school and kill me if I didn't leave or die on my own. I was stupid and did not tell anyone like my parents or teachers. But on the flip side, I would be bullied in front of a group of people and nobody did anything to help me. I was an outsider. I thought about dropping out of school because it got so bad. I even thought about suicide a lot and how that would solve my problem. My panic attacks usually consisted of me telling people I was going to kill myself unless I went home to my parents, where I felt safe. The thing that saved me from ending my life at the age 12 was Lady Gaga. Even though her song Born This Way was not out at the time, Just Dance distracted me from all the horrible stuff that went on at school. Like Gaga says it will be okay when you just dance, that's what I thought. A lot of people question me when I tell them I made it through harsh bullying by myself; well there were bystanders and I was scared. Also, people question my love for Lady Gaga because they feel its weird, but wouldn't you love someone that helped save your life? When I meet Gaga one day I intend on telling her how much she means to me and how she saved me. My bullying occurred 5 years ago. I'm now 17 and a junior in high school. I spread my love and try to help others who are struggling with bullying, so they never have to be like me and go through it alone. So, remember stay strong, you're not alone, and somebody out there loves and believes in you! If you don't think so, I believe in you!
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